A Marauder's Tale
by Candlegiglia
Summary: Set in the Marauder Era, Sirius has a crush on a fellow 5th year, but she's determined not to like him, Sirius/other character, Set in Sirius' 6th year
1. Goodbyes

A/N: I know this is short, but other chapters will be longer. Please leave reviews even thought it is a bit short. Thanks!

**1) Goodbyes**

**Ella**

"Bye, Lily! Have a great Holiday!!" I shouted at my best friend as she disappeared through the double doors at the main entrance. Smiling, I looked at other students wishing farewell to their friends. My smile faltered as I saw a familiar black haired guy among the crowd. Then, without warning he turned to look at me and my heart sank deeper than the Black Lake. He flashed a grin at me that would have caused millions of girls to fall head-over-heels for him. And I was trying not to be one of them; his reputation preceded him. Before he could get the chance to talk to me, I turned around and walked as fast as possible away from him. I could almost see his grin grow wider as he saw me make a quick exit. A grin, I knew would have made my heart skip a beat if I'd seen it, as always.

* * *

**Sirius**

I knew she was there long before I turned around to smile at her. Her smile disappeared when she saw me smiling at her. I hate it when she does that! What is about me that puts her off? Every girl (and even some guys) in Hogwarts seem to melt when I grace their dull lives with my charming smile. But I just can't figure out why Ella doesn't like me. What did I do? And I had to go for the one woman who resists to my charms!

As I followed her to the dormitory, I resolved to talk to her.


	2. Transfiguration

A/N: Hi here's the next chapter. Thanks to those who reviewed on the previous chapter. Hope you enjoy this one. Please leave reviews?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters except the ones that you don't recognize.

**2) Transfiguration**

**Ella**

After getting some parchment, quill and ink from my dormitory, I headed for the library, looking for some peace so that I could work on my transfiguration essay. Trust Professor McGonagall to set homework over the Christmas Holidays. Christmas Holidays, for Merlin's sake! That woman needs a new dictionary if she thinks doing homework is a way to spend holidays, I thought as I grudgingly picked a thick dusty tome on 'Human Transfiguration'.

Half an hour of futile reading and one bored brain later, I'd got nowhere. I looked over my essay, at a loss as to what write next:

'Human Transfiguration

Human Transfiguration is the most dangerous type of transfiguration. If done carelessly, it is known to cause permanent damage to a witch or wizard in question.'

I sighed. Professor McGonagall is going to have my head for dinner.

* * *

**Sirius**

"Massalin the Monkey-faced is a good example of Human Transfiguring gone out of hand." I said, in my usual drawl. I found her sitting in the library, her head resting in her hands when my search for her in the dormitory had proved fruitless.

I leant against the nearest shelf, arms folded giving her my most heart warming grin, knowing that they would have no effect on the emotionless rock sitting in front of me. I was right. Judging from the glare that seemed to be permanently plastered on her face, she could have done without me raining my useless woo-ing skills on her. Why can't I ever make her smile? Remus can easily light up her face whenever he wants to? Well, Moony can make anyone smile, that's no surprise.

"What do you want Black?" she said. She might as well have snarled, at least that would have kept the coldness out of her voice a little.

"I need to talk to you." I said, my smile vanishing instantly; a solemn expression took over my visage. Ella should feel privileged: it's not often that I'm this serious.

* * *

**Ella **

Oh great! If it's not enough that I have to put myself through extreme torture in order to finish this stupid essay, Black's here to speed up the process. Although, this is a welcome distraction for once; anything's better than sitting in the library getting bored out of my skull.

"What do you want Black?" I ask, glaring at him, after a making a quick mental note about Massalin the Monkey-faced.

"I need to talk to you." From the sombre expression on his face, I thought that something terrible had happened. Sirius has never looked so earnest, and the fact that this rare emotion has graced his face is rather worrying.

"What about?"

"Why don't you like me?" I stared at him, dumbfounded. _Why don't I like him? _That's what he wanted to talk about? Well, at least it's better than a death announcement. But I found it hard to believe that he would get worried because I don't like him.

"You never consider other people's feelings. You play pranks on them, make fun of them, never once stopping to think that maybe they have feelings and maybe they get hurt. You are so cocky! Not to mention a womaniser. I would only like you if I wanted to get my heart broken. I'm sorry, but you're just not my kind of guy."

* * *

**Sirius**

"O.K," was all I said to her, when she'd finished. Her description of me made me sound like a Slytherin. But that's not me. "And try page 316, that might help," I said, pointing at the book before I left. I wish I could prove to her that there's more to me than what she thinks. But her feelings of dislike for me are pretty strong, so is there even any point? Besides which, if she can't look past exteriors maybe she's not really my type of girl.

But then why do I still want her?

* * *

**One Week Later, School restarts,**

**Lesson: Transfiguration**

**Ella**

"Most of you have completed your homework task on Human Transfiguration. Now, we shall try and perform some complicated transfiguration that will eventually lead to Human Transfiguration. Now, before we begin, I must warn you that this is a very dangerous and rather tricky branch of magic and therefore, it is vital that you follow my instructions."

No one dared speak while Professor McGonagall transfigured a red cushion on her desk into a white bunny. We all watched her, awe struck; all of us seemed intrigued and excited by what the lesson might hold except the usual crew of miscreants: James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

I thought that after what I told him last week, he would improve. But he just carried on misbehaving like always. And to think that I felt guilty about it!

"Now you have to get yourself into pairs," Instantly, everyone turned to their friends, nodding and smiling at them. I turned to Lily who was still watching Professor McGonagall attentively.

"Silence!" Professor McGonagall shouted, "This time, I will be choosing your pairs." The class moaned collectively at the announcement. "Your task is to transform a cushion into an animal of your choice. Your partner has to ensure that you are performing the spell correctly, and learn from you,"

The students got up, and grudgingly moved to their partners.

"Miss Priestly, you will work with Mr Black, Miss Evans, You will work with Mr Potter." I was appalled. I had been trying to avoid Sirius for the past week and now I have to work with him. I could see James giving Sirius a high five from the corner of my eye. This is going to be a long lesson.


	3. Sheep

A/N: Here's the next chapter. Many thanks to **Glitterpaw Of ThunderClan, Soccergirl0388, and Keisha.cl **for reviewing. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Tell me what you think once you've read it?

**3) Sheep**

**Sirius**

I couldn't believe it. I was being paired up with Ella. I couldn't stop grinning from the joy and looking at her across the room, she seemed to have lost her jaw. I waved at her to come over here. She muttered something to Lily and gathered her things. I can imagine what she might have said to her: "Oh curse McGonagall for pairing me with that arrogant lunatic!" My heart sank a little at the thought of how much she hated me, but I reminded myself that I no longer cared about her.

"Right then, why don't you go get us a cushion?"

* * *

**Ella**

I tried to transform the cushion first. After five failed attempts, Mr Big-Head took over and waved his wand casually, over the cushion. The cushion shrank, a dull, black/grey colour spread from the centre of the cushion, eating away its rich red tones. A small beak protruded from one of the corners, and then two thin legs appeared from the bottom. Two eyes appeared and then, the texture of the fabric changed into feathered layers of a small mockingbird.

"That was good," I told him, while he smiled proudly at the bird. The mockingbird hoped off the table and flew around the room, bursting into a repertoire.

"Excellent work, Mr Black," Professor McGonagall congratulated him, "Miss Priestley, why don't you try it now."

Now, that is just unfair. Why did she have to put me under the spotlight, knowing full well that I won't be able to do it? Still, I tried. I waved my wand over the cushion, which merely jumped a few inches in a defeated sigh. I tried once again, this time, a small golden tail wagged out from the cushion.

"Better, but it needs work." She said, frowning at the tail.

"Why don't you try it one more time, Ella?" Sirius suggested with a malicious smirk on his face. I pursed my lips and waved my wand one more time. "No, no, no, you are doing it wrong. You should wave the wand in an elliptical motion and finish with a little sigma, like so."

* * *

**Sirius**

I stopped half way through my demonstration, when I saw the outraged expression on her face. She looked like she was ready pounce at me and rip me into a million billion little shreds.

"I know how to do it correctly, thank you very much! And I don't need someone like you to tell me what I was doing wrong, Black." She hissed. She waved her wand once more, and I have to say this time her wand movement were even more wild than before. Her movements were violent and rather jerky instead being soft and flowing. She poked the cushion violently and out of the puff the smoke that appeared suddenly, came a….I don't really know what it is. It had the same golden tail as before. At the base of the tail, huge majestic peacock feathers displayed their exotic glory in a fan-like way. The creature had legs of a duck and the body of a zebra. A long swan neck extended from the front with what appeared to be unicorn head resting at the top.

"Baaaah!"

* * *

**Ella**

If the creature's whole disorientating anatomy wasn't embarrassing enough, the creature had to have the voice of a sheep. I closed my eyes, wishing it was dream, as the embarrassment reached my cheeks. I could see Sirius was trying to suppress his smile, while the others burst into raucous laughter. Even Professor McGonagall was smiling.

"That's pretty...impressive, Miss Priestly but perhaps next time you can try and transform it into a species that we know of?"

This seemed to be the last straw for Sirius as he joined the other others and started cackling. Professor McGonagall waved her wand and the creature returned to its original shape of a cushion. Thankfully, the bell sounded to mark the end of the lesson.

* * *

**Sirius**

She rushed out of the classroom as soon as the bell went. It was quite amusing to watch her make a fool out of herself but as I looked around at other people imitating the creature, I felt guilty for laughing at her. I should apologize, shouldn't I?

_Yes,_ said my inner voice that hardly ever speaks up.

But that would mean admitting that I was wrong.

_It will also prove to her that you're not a big-head._

Good point.

I gathered my things and ran after her.

"Look Ella, I'm sorry about what happened in there," I said, panting.

"Well, you should be. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have conjured up that thing." I didn't believe this. She thought it was my fault! How could she think that?

"How is it my fault? You were the one who created it?"

"Yeah, but if you hadn't provoked me and made me angry, that would have been a small Golden Retriever puppy."

"I provoked you? You were doing it wrong, I was showing you how to do it properly" I never should have thought of apologizing to her. She's impossible.

"Did I ask for your help?"

"But- "

"Sirius, why can't you just leave me alone?" She turned to face me, her face red from fury. I was going to reply when I suddenly felt sick. Her face was the last thing I saw before my vision went black and I felt like there was something forcing its way out of me.


	4. Where is Sirius?

A/N: Here's the next chapter guys, hope you enjoy it. The next one might take a while as mum's getting a bit annoyed with me for not spending enough time revising. Anyway, enjoy! hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Do we have to go through this again?

**4) Where is Sirius? **

**Ella**

Oops. What did I do? Ok…I could see what I did but how the hell did I manage it? I looked down at the small black cat purring dangerously at me, raising its front leg to scratch me but not quite managing it. I looked around and I could see a small group of people heading this way. I grabbed Sirius the cat, and rushed to the nearest hiding place: Moaning Myrtle's Toilet.

* * *

**Sirius**

"Meow!"

You are so going to die for this Priestley, I thought when I attempt at communication failed, just take me to Professor McGonagall and she'll fix it. Or at least tell Prongs what happened. Just don't do anything foolish!

I screamed as she snatched me off the floor and ran with me in her hands. I shouldn't have said 'don't do anything stupid.' Oh Merlin, help me! This woman is going to kill me. My head spun and my vision blurred as her hands shook while running. I needed something to hold on to. I waved my arm aimlessly and hoped for the best.

"Ow!!" If she doesn't succeed in killing me, she will most definitely deafen me. I realised why she screamed when she closed a door shut: I'd dug my claws in her arm.

* * *

**Ella**

I hate Sirius Black! I dropped him on the wet floor of Myrtle's bathroom as soon as I closed the door behind me. Blood gushed out of my hand, forming a diluted red pool at the bottom of my feet. Biting my lip in pain, I got my wand out and quickly performed a small healing charm. He was prancing around in front of me, throwing me a curse in the form of 'meow' every few minutes.

"Oooo! Are you going to die?" It was Myrtle.

"No, Myrtle. Not yet." I said. Was she always this creepy? If she was, I completely understand why they teased her at school.

"Woof!" yes, yes, I do – wait, that was a dog.

* * *

**Sirius**

Dear Merlin, what is happening to me? I felt like I wanted to puke. And there was that feeling again: like there's something pushing its way out of me. And it hurt, as if the thing was scratching the way out!

"Woof!" I barked. Now, I'm a dog.

* * *

**Ella**

"Woof, woof," the dog barked at me again, as I stared at him dumbfounded. He's a dog now? I stared, confounded at the small Golden Retriever at my feet, looking up at me with his huge twinkling eyes. The situation was getting more and more out of hand by the second. I had to go see Professor McGonagall.

"Sirius? Come here," I said, my trembling with fear and guilt. I can't believe I did this to him. "Sirius, I'm really sorry about this. I'll get it fixed, I promise. Somehow." How am I going to get this fixed?

I picked him up gently off the floor, and carried him out of the loos.

I knocked on Professor McGonagall's office, dreading that there might not be anything that she could do to help him.

"Come in,"

I walked in to find Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall sitting at her desk, drinking tea. "Good Afternoon, Miss Priestley. That's a very cute dog you have there." said Professor Dumbledore, looking at me through his half-moon spectacles, his eyes twinkling.

"Thank you. Um…it's not a dog…well, it is, but it's not," I started out, trying to find a way put this.

"Miss Priestley, you are not making any sense. Would you like to tell me what happened?" Professor McGonagall conjured a chair for me to sit in. My heart thudding inside my chest with nervousness, I sat down, letting Sirius go. Instantly, he bounced around the room, licking and sniffing everything in his way.

"Um…after the Transfiguration lesson, Sirius and I were…talking. And then, all of a sudden he turned into a cat." Dumbledore nodded at me to carry on. This was getting harder and harder. What if I got expelled? I knew I shouldn't be thinking like that when Sirius was running around in the form of a golden dog, but I couldn't help it. He's a Black too. His family will be after my blood! "And then…a few minutes later, he turned into a dog."

"I see," mumbled Dumbledore, a grave expression settling on his face.

"Miss Priestley! Are – Are you telling me that that puppy is Sirius Black?" Professor McGonagall looked positively shocked. Her eyes were threatening to pop out any second, and her lips merged into a thin line that had I not known her habit of pursing her lips, I would I have thought she had no mouth.

"I don't know how I did it. It was a complete accident." I added hastily.

Professor Dumbledore got up and picked Sirius up in his arms while Professor McGonagall continued staring at me.

"Why don't you try a reversible spell Albus?"

"I'm afraid that won't work, Professor," Dumbledore said, waving his wand at Sirius in a variety of different movements. "I believe that the nature of the jinx placed upon Mr Black is such that only the caster can undo it."

"But I don't know how to do that?"

"The spell will come to you, in time." In time? That could be anything from 2 minutes to 2 hours to 2 years. "Meanwhile, I would like you to take care of Mr Black."

I looked at the dog in the head teacher's arms, licking its paw. How will I ever find the answer?

"O.K,"

I picked him up once again, and left the two teachers in the room. As soon as I left, I wished I hadn't. Striding towards me along with his two friends was James Potter with a look of utter fury on his face.

"Where is Sirius?" he demanded, ignoring the little 'woof' from the Sirius in my hands.


	5. Confrontation Part 1

A/N: Hi, sorry for the delay, I was busy revising again. This chapter has been divided into two parts. Here's the first part. I hope you like it. Oh and by the way, the stuff about different animal's visions and body changes, etc whatever that comes up may not be true. I'm not really an animal person. sorry, if that bugs you. If you notice something about the animals that you think is incorrect please do let me know. Thanks! Enjoy!

**5) Confrontation Part 1**

**Sirius**

"Where is he?" James demanded. Oho! Now she was in trouble. Go on, Prongs, you show her! Show her that she can't get away from turning _Sirius Black _into an animal shape-shifter and get away with it. I could hear Ella's heart racing as she tried to explain the situation.

"He – um…He's – James, the thing is – promise me you won't flip?" James hated it when people say that. He used to say that always implied that something terrible had happened.

"Woof, woof," I bark, this is getting more fun by the second.

"What. Did. You. Do?" James was furious. And if Ella knew what was best for her, she would tell him exactly what happened. But she didn't. She stumbled over more words and her voice suddenly got very squeaky.

* * *

**Ella**

"Look, I can fix it." Or at least I hoped I could. "It – Dumbledore knows."

"What happened?" he snaps. I flinched at the sharpness of his voice. I've never heard him talk like that. Is there a way to tell a guy that his best friend is now a dog? And he might soon change into another animal?

"Iaccidtallyputajinxonhimandturnedhimintoananimalshapeshifter. I'm sorry." James stared at me even more confused and angry than before, if that was possible. I knew it. There isn't a way to tell a guy that.

"What?" Oh. He didn't understand me. I gulped.

"This dog is Sirius. I put a jinx on him," He looked about to burst, so I add hastily, "accidentally! And I can fix it."

James continued to stare at me. He face was now devoid of any expression but Remus' was livid with fury and I could see rage burning in James' eyes. Oh Merlin, help!

"Is that you in there, Padfoot?" Sirius barked in response. James grabbed him from my arms and held him close to him, protectively.

"I can't believe Sirius loved a bitch like you." His words stung.

* * *

**Sirius**

Oh mate, you shouldn't have said that. I could see the hurt in Ella's eyes and despite what I've been telling myself, I felt slightly guilty for causing it. And a bit angry at James for saying those words.

But atleast, with prongs, I felt safer. I wasn't afraid of James putting a jinx on me. Just as I was about to turn around and 'woof' an apology at Ella, I felt that feeling in the pit of my stomach again. And like before, I felt myself changing. James screamed and dropped me when he saw my body mutating. My limbs extended into long, strong legs and my nails turned dark and sharper. My golden fur turned a dark grey with streaks of silver and black. And I could feel my face growing fiercer.

When the metamorphosis was complete, I felt a sudden urge to howl. I arched my back, and raised my head. Closing my eyes, I let the animal in me take over and I howled. When I finished, I felt like I'd been crying and screaming for an age. I was a wolf.

I looked around. My vision was sharper this time. I could see Prongs sitting in front me, looking at me, worried. Footsteps echoed inside my head. I whipped around and saw Moony's cloak flapping behind him as he went to get Ella, no doubt.

She was so much trouble, and the poor girl didn't even realise it.


	6. Confrontation Part 2

**6) Confrontation Part 2**

**Ella**

I had to see James about Sirius again. But only a fool would go after him then with his temper capable of melting the snow off Mount Everest.

"It's is all my fault," I couldn't help thinking. If I hadn't flipped out like that, Sirius would still be a human. I can feel tears stinging my eyes. And James' last words really hurt. I had no idea that Sirius had felt that way about me. I thought that I was just his latest crush. And given his reputation, who would blame me for thinking that?

James' words might have been slightly true but he didn't have to lash out at me like that. It's almost as if he thinks that I planned this whole thing out. Well, he probably does think that.

As I turned around, my emotions were in turmoil. I wanted to cry and scream at the same time. Oh, I wish none of this had ever happened.

"Ella!" I turned around to see Remus yelling my name, as he ran towards me.

"What exactly did you do to him? He's just turned into a wolf."

"I wish I knew. I don't know what happened or how it happened." I wanted to get my explanation out before Remus started accusing me as well, though I doubted he would have done that. "I went to Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore was there and he said only I can reverse the magic, and the spell will come to me in time. But I have no idea where to even begin. Remus, I'm really sorry. I know that's completely useless but you've got to understand, I didn't want to do that."

"Hey, I get it. Dumbledore obviously thinks that Sirius is in no danger. I'm sorry that James flipped like that. It's just that this soldier in one of the portraits made it sound like something terrible had happened to him. He didn't say what exactly, but we were worried. Especially, now in these dark times," I felt even worse after he'd said that. I hadn't thought what it must have been like for James.

"Look-"

"Just get him back to normal. And where is his wand?" Oh, Merlin, I hadn't thought of that either. His wand. "You did get it, didn't you?"

Gulping, I ran back down the corridor, to where Sirius had first transformed. It wasn't there. Remus followed me, and I could see he was trying to suppress his anger. Thinking back to the incident, I'm sure there wasn't a wand anywhere nearby. I didn't remember hearing any dull clunks of a wand falling on the ground.

"It wasn't there when Sirius changed. I'm sure of it." This didn't comfort Remus at all.

"I'll try summoning it. _Accio Sirius' wand._" Nothing happened.

**Sirius**

James continued to stare at me in bewilderment. I wish I could talk. Or at least, there was some way for me to communicate to him. I knew we should have learnt Legilimency.

"How are you doing, mate?" he whispered. I nodded, and licked his face, to say 'fine'. He screamed in surprise, falling on his back. Then, he burst out laughing. I laughed along with him but it sounded more like a pant.

Prongs was laughing so hard, tears had appeared in his eyes. I was shaking from amusement myself, when I felt an ache in my stomach as if there was something trying to tear its way out of me. This feeling was different. This was something new. I howled in pain, which lasted only a few seconds. When I opened my eyes again, Sirius was back on his knees, looking worried. And turning around, I saw Remus and Ella rushing towards us.

"What happened?" Remus asked, kneeling down beside me. Ella kept her distance but there was no mistaking the worry in her eyes.

"I don't know. One minute we were laughing, the next, Padfoot was howling."

Silence.

"I think I know why." It was Ella who spoke. "I just tried to summon Sirius' wand. I think that Sirius's wand is now a part of him. And it was trying to get to me when he howled." It made sense.

"O.K. Just don't do anything like that again." James whispered. And I'm not sure if Remus and James heard her, I heard her mumble another apology.

Again, I felt a sudden urge to howl.

"Hang on," it was Moony, "if he has his wand inside him, does that mean he can still do magic?" Interesting idea…

They both looked from Remus to me, wondering.

A/N: Hi, I got bored of writing the A/N at the top of the chapter. Well, I hoped you liked it. And if you're wondering why Sirius keeps changing from one animal to another, well, that's part of the plot and you'll soon find that out. Many thanks to everyone who reviewed. :) And because you're all so nice and wonderful, you'll leave another one? Thanks!


	7. Rumours

A/N: Hi guys sorry for the delay, again, but I was busy with my exams. Not to worry though because as of today, they are all over. I am free!! I realize that this is a short chapter but it's also one of the important chapters. I promise, that the next one will be longer. :) Anyway, enjoy!

**7) Rumours**

**Ella**

Oh, please, Merlin, let Sirius be able to perform magic! I look at the wolf in front of me, pleading.

"Try shaking your head, Padfoot," James suggests. Sirius shakes his head but to no effect. Nothing happens. He tries howling, blinking, everything that we can think of but his wand seems to be lying in his insides, uselessly.

"James, Remus, I think I'll leave you guys here. Let me know if there's any change." I say before leaving them behind. I know it's not very nice of me to think this but I am starving. And I'm not going to be able to come up with any solutions to Sirius' problem on an empty stomach. My stomach growls in agreement.

* * *

"Ella!" Lily exclaims when she sees me. Several heads turn and for a moment, I think, a sudden hush falls, before dispersing into whispers. Do they know? They can't. How can they know? I know that news travels fast but this is too fast.

I walk over to her when a cold voice stops me.

"Hey, Priestly! What's your favourite pet?" I freeze. I can vaguely hear some laughter and pathetic imitations of a dog, but my head is filled with the echoes of those words. "What do you think of dogs? Or wolves?"

They know. How can they know? I don't have to turn around to see who the voice belonged to. Rodolphus Lestrange.

But how did he know? Confused, I sit down next to Lily listening to her going on about this "rumour that's been going around". Defeated, I tell her what happened. She listens in a shocked silence.

When I stop, she stares at me blankly, her mouth agape. "How can you do that? How _did _you do that?"

"I didn't mean to do it!" I snap at her. Why does everyone keep implying that I intentionally turned Sirius into a shape shifting animal?

"I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't do anything like that." I don't say anything to her. I can't. Everything's so wrong. "So how are you going to turn him back?"

"I don't know." I want to be alone at the moment. I just want to get away from all of this for a while. "Listen, I have to go. I'll talk to you later." I pick up a sandwich before Lily has a chance to complain about my dietary habits.

As I leave, I couldn't help noticing the squeaking laughter at the end of the Gryffindor table. Oh I hate it when he laughs like that. I don't know how James and the lot can live with him. Peter Pettigrew is so annoying.

* * *

As I'm walking along the snow covered ground, trying to think about how I'm going to get out of this mess, a weird and completely useless thought occurs to me: How did everyone know about my overactive magical powers? Who started that rumour?


	8. Musicals

A/N: His guys!! I know its been absolutely ages since i last uploaded! and I'm really very sorry!! but further education is hard and very time consuming!! but ill try to update more often, but thats not a promise!! sorry again!!

i know its short, but i hope u like it! please review!

**Sirius**

"Don't strain yourself Padfoot. You never know what might happen," Remus, always the one to worry. I didn't think about the magic part before, but now that I know that there is a small possibility of me being able to perform magic, I want to do _something_, however small it may it. My failed attempts have only made my resolution stronger now. This is a challenge.

"Still, it could have been worse," James says, stroking my back. Even though I'm in a wolf form, my mind is still very much human, and the fact that James, Prongs, my best mate is stroking my back isn't exactly comfortable. I move to the side, letting his hand slide off. James seems to have understood, for a faint blush appears on his cheeks. I would have laughed, had an evil grin not taken place of the blush. I bar my teeth at him, threateningly.

Prongs leaps at me. I run.

He's right, though. This could have been worse. I mean, at least, I can still have fun with Prongs. I stop running when I feel something pushing its way out again. I'm beginning to get used to this, but that still doesn't make the whole process any less painful.

Finally, I can breathe! I sigh. Instead of a barely audible breathe; a deep musical note escapes my mouth. And I notice the lack of ground beneath my feet. And then I see my body. I gasp, but another note flows out. I'm a phoenix. And I look beautiful! If Ella was here now, even she wouldn't be able to say no if I asked her out.

"As beautiful as your voice is now, Mr Black, I would still try to keep it quite. Best not to draw too much attention," Professor Dumbledore stared up at me, over his half moon glasses, his blue eyes twinkling. "Now, I would like to see you gentlemen in my room, please. I think we should discuss the situation at hand. And Mr Lupin, if could please fetch Miss Priestly. I believe she is in the Great Hall. Thank you." With that, he turns around, and we follow.


	9. Dark Magic

A/N: heya, sorry for the delay, here's the next chapter, slightly more darker than the previous ones, but I hope you like it. Please leave reviews? THanks!!

**Dark Magic**

**Ella**

I try not to think about who spread the news about me turning Sirius into an animal shape shifter, but there is something about it that's bugging me but I can't put my finger on what it is. I have to work out how to return Sirius back into his normal (if you can even call that guy 'normal') human shape.

And that's when I see Remus running towards me. "Dumbledore wants to see you. He wants to talk to all of us." He says when he finally reaches me.

"OK." I reply. Why does Dumbledore want to speak to us? I'd talked to him before…was there something that he forgot to tell me before? "Do you know why?" I voice my thoughts. But Remus didn't prove to be of much help. He just shrugged.

We walked in silence. It wasn't the awkward kind…neither of us wanted to speak, we were both happy, not talking, too busy thinking. Walking along, I can see some people whispering amongst themselves and then stopping all of a sudden when they see me. They should do lessons in the Art of Inconspicuousness.

"Did you mention this to anyone?"

"Mention what?"

"The whole, you know, what I did to Sirius?"

"No, why?" It was what I expected. Remus doesn't strike to me the kind of guy who would go around gossiping. He has more tact than that.

"No reason, just wondered." I say, and then noticing that he was about to ask another question, I add "Don't worry about it."

We see Dumbledore, James and Sirius, now as a phoenix, hanging outside the gargoyle that leads to the Headmaster's office. I can't take my eyes off Sirius. He looks so…beautiful. His shimmering golden red plumage…I've never seen anything quite as beautiful as him.

"Mr Lupin, I'm sorry I forgot to give the password to enter my office. But no matter, we are all here now."

"Peppermint," Dumbledore says in a loud, clear voice, and with some creaking and groaning, the gargoyles shift aside, giving way into a long spiralling staircase. We all file in after him.

His room is huge. There are all sorts of instruments around the room that I've only ever seen in books. Row upon row of Hogwart's former headteacher's portraits are lined up all along the wall and the ceiling. The far side of the room is occupied by a desk and a tall arm chair behind it. In one corner, perched up on a golden stand, is another phoenix. So I guess this is the phoenix that Dumbledore was rumoured to have. I can't help but compare Sirius and the phoenix…and although they both look identical, there is just something about Sirius that looks slightly different…like there's something that's trying to hide inside him.

Dumbledore waves his wands and two extra chairs materialise around the desk. Once everyone is seated, Dumbledore speaks. "As you've all noticed that Sirius Black has been morphed into a sort of shape shifter by Miss Priestley. But we must not blame her for this for it was unintentional. What we must concentrate on is how to get Mr Black back. I was hoping the situation wouldn't get as far as this, but now that it has, something must be done."

Oh, God, what's happened? Has Sirius transformed one too many times, and one more transformation will turn him permanently into that form, or worse? Is there even a solution to turn him back to normal? There has to be!

"What's wrong, professor?" James asked, worry etched across his forehead.

"I don't know if you're aware or not, but the news of Sirius's transformation has reached the rest of the school. And it won't be long before Lord Voldemort gets wind of it." I can't help but shudder at the name. I can see the ridiculousness of it but still, this is a man with no soul. Even the thought of him sends chills down my spine. Dumbledore looks at me briefly but then turns away. "Let me first tell you, the magic that Miss Priestly accidentally performed tonight is very hard and ancient. It hasn't been done in millions of years, for it was banned by Gryffindor. You see, long ago, Slytherin used this type of magic as a form of punishment. The actual jinx itself originated from rage and a small amount of dark magic." Dark magic? What is he trying to say? I have goosebumps. I don't wan Dumbledore to continue but he doesn't. "However, this does not mean that you are in any way evil, Miss Priestley. All it means is that you have some dark, evil magic in you that could date back to your ancestor. This says nothing about your personality now. And I would have told you this before when we spoke, had I known it then. But, as I was saying, this magic is almost impossible now. There is only one other person who has done it. Lord Voldemort himself. And when he finds out that there is another person besides him who can perform this dark magic, he will want to speak to you."

Dumbledore looks at me as he says this. His piercing blue eyes are enough to convey the graveness of the situation. I shudder. I don't want to see you-know-who.

"That is why it is vital that you change Sirius back into his normal form as soon as possible." He continues. Silence. Everyone turns to look at Sirius apart from me. I am still going over Dumbledore's words in my head, each syllable dissolving into a cloud of fear as it slowly sinks in.

This is turning into something a lot more dangerous and scary than I first thought.


	10. Emotions and Journals

Hi guys, sorry for such a late post, but I'll try to update regularly next time! I hope you enjoy this one!!

**Chapter 10: Emotions and Journals**

**Ella**

I leave Dumbledore's office, deep in thought. I can hear James and Remus following silently behind me; one of them must be holding Sirius in their hands. I have to do something about this. But what? I have looked into every book in the library, even the Restricted Section, but nothing useful has turned up yet.

Then, a dark though occurs to me: what if he remains like this for ever? What if Voldemort kills us both? I must try not to let such thoughts plague my mind, but in a situation like this, where there is no hope, the mind wanders to such morbid thoughts, on its own accord.

In the Gryffindor Tower, I sit in my dorm, hoping that an idea would occur to me. But to no avail. Desperate for an answer, I get my trunk out from under the bed. Pushing all my clothes aside, I get what out what I was looking for: my first ever book of magic spells and jinxes, a present from my great uncle. I open it, hoping that there might be something helpful inside. After all, the book is ancient like the spell, and it was passed down from generation to generation. I open the book, and inside, I trace with my fingers, my uncle's words,

_To dearest Ella, _

_I present you this book that has been in my care for a while now to help you, should you need it, during your time in Hogwarts. Remember, that magic is tied to your emotions. I only wish the best for you,_

_Lots of love, _

_Uncle Rufus. _

It was a few weeks after he had given me the book that he had passed away. I miss him greatly, and have only this book to keep the memory of him alive. I turn the page, and look at the contents, hoping to find something to transformations. It was then that an idea occurred to me. I flipped back to the dedications page, and re-read the message.

Feeling elated, I ran to the boy's dorm, where I found James pacing back and forth and Remus slumped on the bed, stroking Sirius. They all look up as I barged into their room.

"I have an idea."

I quickly explain to them what had occurred to me. Magic is linked to our emotions. And emotions have had a small hand in all great magic ever performed in the past. Perhaps that was the clue to save Sirius: emotions.

Before I could continue, James interrupts me, "Ok, so what were you feeling when you transformed Sirius into a shape shifter?"

Hiding my annoyance at being interrupted, I answer "Rage, annoyance, anger, and," I pause, thinking, "I think, I felt a little sad."

"So your feelings of rage and low self-esteem caused this." Says James, matter-of-factly, and I can only stare at him in astonishment.

"What do you mean, low self-esteem?"

"Well, you must have been feeling upset because Sirius is better at Transfiguration that you, and this must be your subconscious way to prove to him that you are better." I didn't say anything, for I was feeling guilty enough already, and perhaps James was right. I could have brought this on Sirius out of feelings of worthlessness.

"So what do we do now?" asks Remus.

That's when I speak up again, "Get me a quill and some parchment."

"Now, I think that we should write down a list of all the instances when Sirius transformed and what I was feeling at the time. That could be a place to start?"

A few minutes later, we come to the conclusion that Sirius's every transformation before was linked to any change in my emotional state.

"Yes, but we still don't know how to turn him back to normal."

"Maybe if I wished hard enough for him to turn back?"

"Haven't you been doing that already?"

James and I glare at each other, though I have no idea why. That was when, Remus interrupts our bickering, "How about we leave Sirius and Ella alone, this is clearly something to do with them." He suggests.

They both left, leaving me alone with a phoenix. I stared at him, feeling a tear trailing down my face. "Sirius, I am so, so sorry." I whisper. In response, he flies over my side, and sits close to me, as a way of a hug I suppose. I stroke his feather, feeling a wave of despair wash over me.

Sirius moves from my head, and perches himself on his bedside table. I don't think much about it until he starts tapping the table impatiently. Confused, I open the drawer, and inside, among many thing articles, there's a black diary. I take it out, and realise, with shock, that it is a personal journal that Sirius kept. With his beak, he pushes the Journal towards me, indicating that he wants me to read it. But how can I read it? It's his personal thing. Nevertheless, I open the page and begin reading…


	11. All's Well that ends Well

Here's the next chapter! Hope that you like it, and know that this is not where it ends...

**Chapter 11: Alls Well that Ends Well**

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**Sirius**

I am not really one to keep journals, but ever since I started liking Ella, I have had this urge to write down everything. I can't tell James everything: yes, we are good friends, and he knows how much my feelings for her have grown over the past few months, despite her cold demeanour. In fact, they have only made me like her more. It hurt me to see her sad, but there is a small part of that revels in it, because she is upset because of the state that I am in. It might not be very appropriate but I feel slightly gleeful because it shows that she cares for me, however small a level that may be on.

She looks at me, confused as I push my diary towards her. This might not be very appropriate either, or very timely, but I can think of no better time well suited for this: this can be my way of telling her just how much I care for her, and that contrary to what she thinks, she is not like the past relationships that I've had.

**Ella**

I turn the page, and it scares me slightly that almost every page is about me. There are a few mentions of lessons, and his friends, his family, but the journal is predominantly about me. I look at Sirius, confused and questioningly. He only looks back at me from his beautifully sad eyes. I turn the page again, and find a record of our meeting in the library.

_I found her in the library again, reading up on the Transfiguration homework. Smiling, I quietly leant on the shelf, looking at her as works. Her brows knit together in frustration, and I wanted to help her, but like always, she only turned my help down, just like I had suspected. Nevertheless, I got to speak to her, even if she only had curses for me. I don't know how she did it, or if she even sees it, but she has changed me slightly. I want to tell her that, I want to tell a great many things, if only she'd give me the chance._

_Anyway, I must turn in now, for I am exhausted from playing one on one Quidditch with Prongs. _

It had never hit me before the seriousness of his feelings for me. I wish I wasn't so mean to him, maybe if I wasn't, he wouldn't be looking at me through the eyes of a phoenix. I looked at Sirius, feeling terribly guilty about making him suffer, but I didn't believe him when he said that he did like me, Lily's words of caution kept me from even considering the sincerity in his words.

With my finger, I stroke his little head. "I am so sorry, Sirius." I say, but somehow that just doesn't feel enough. Closing my eyes, I place a small kiss on the top of his head, trying to convey just how bad I feel about hurting him.

When I move away and open my eyes, I find myself staring back into Sirius' own black eyes. He had changed back to his normal form. I gasp. If I had known that all I had to do was kiss him to transform him, I would have done that a long time ago.

"Sirius." I say, nearly choking on the tears that were flowing.

He got up from the table, and without another word, hugged me.


	12. Never Again

Hiya, I know there was a slight delay in this chapter, and I apolgize for it! Jane Eyre can be a bit distracting ( I adore Mr Rochester!!! - and dont tell me that he's evil - i havent got to that bit yet, my friend kinda ruined that bit for me :P ) anyway, enjoy this chapter!!! another one will be up soon!!!

Never Again

**Ella**

I don't know what came over me when he wraps his arms around me: I start sobbing which soon turns to crying. He only rubs my back, and holds me closer. A few minutes, I step back, wipe my tears, and apologize for what I had unintentionally made him suffer.

Holding my hands in his, he smiles at him – his large, warm, toothy grin. "Don't worry about me now; I'm fine, thanks to you." He said it without a hint of anger or resentment. "But tell me, now that you know that my feelings were real – would you go out with me?"

My smile falters, and I withdraw my hand from his. "Sirius, I am flattered that you would choose me of all people to be your focus of attention, and I am deeply sorry but I can not return those feelings. At least, not yet."

Even his grin freezes and then slowly diminishes to a small polite smile. It hurt me to take him out of one suffering and put him through another.

"I'm sorry." I say again, before turning and leaving the dorm to seek some refuge in my own dorm.

**Sirius**

I hugged her – something that I have wished to do for ages, and have been granted now at such sensitive a moment. I feel her tremble against me in sobs, and then I can feel her tears soak through my robes and touch my skin, like an acid causing a flower to wither and die in great agony. I want to comfort her, and find that the only thing that I can do is hug her tighter, bring her closer. I rub her back to tell her that there's nothing to worry about: I am fine. Then she draws herself away from me, though I want her to stay as she was – in my arms.

I grin at her, thinking that she has changed her opinion of me, and that by agonising over my condition, she has grown to like me more. I hold her hand still, which is some consolation.

"Don't worry about me now; I'm fine thanks to you." I smile warmly at her, "But tell me, would you go out with me?" Instantly, she withdraws her hands, and a strange uncomfortable look now frames her face. I don't want to think about it, but I know what she is going to say; after all, I have heard it many times before: her sentence is no stranger to me, and neither is the crushing defeat that follows it.

"Sirius, I am flattered that you would choose me of all people to be your focus of attention, and I am deeply sorry but I can not return those feelings. At least, not yet." She says. Though I don't want to appear any different, I can feel my grin shrinking away into a cold, polite smile.

I gulp back the pain that this blow caused. She apologizes again, and rushes out of the room. At length, when I have regained my composure, I head out of the dorm as well. I see my friends pacing in the common room. I look at them, and my heart fills with joy once again – these are the people who will never disappoint me, who will always be by my side.

I look wishfully at the staircase that leads to the girls' dorm, and crushing my feeling and emotions away, I resolve never to think of her again.

I turn to James and hug me, glad to be back on two feet again instead of two, and to be able to use my arms.


	13. Nothing That I Don't Already Know

Note: I know it's short chapter, you'll get a longer one, and maybe (i think?) a more exciting one next time! :) Keep reading. Thanks Everyone for you reviews!!! They do help encourage me to write!!!! :)

**Nothing that I don't Already Know**

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**Ella**

The next afternoon, I sit quietly at lunch. Lily pays no attention to my unusual silence, instead she continues talking about the guy from Hufflepuff that she thinks might have taken a fancy to her. It is only when I fail to produce a satisfactory reply to her excited chatter, that she notices my pensiveness.

Occasionally, I would glance at Sirius. He appears just as he always does: grinning, talking animatedly to her friends. He doesn't appear in the least bit upset about my rejection. I haven't seen him throwing glances in my direction when he thinks that I'm not noticing either. Besides this, it was also the complete detachment with which he has been treating me all day; as if all of a sudden he wants nothing whatsoever to do with me; as if the events of the past few days had never happened.

"Ella?" Lily's voice drags me out of my thoughts that seemed to dancing dangerously around Sirius.

"Yes." I say looking up.

"Is something the matter?" she asks. She looks so concerned, her eyes so sincere, that I almost consider telling her what has been troubling me, almost. I just shake my head.

And then, changing my mind, I tell her "come with me." She asks no more questions, but faithfully follows me out of the hall. Walking outside in the fresh, cool air that I begin to tell her what had happened. I give her the reason behind me short disappearance.

"Well, he seems to have gotten over you pretty quickly. I saw him eyeing this girl from Ravenclaw this morning." I had noticed that: another reason for my troubled mind. "Ella, I told you before, that he is fickle. He doesn't deserve you, and you can do so much better than him. Look at James for instance. He and Sirius are both the same. He keeps asking me on a date, all the while making out with, like, twenty girls in a day. How do you trust a man like that?"

For a moment, I'm quiet, letting Lily vent about her pent up frustration at James. Then, when she pauses for breath, I speak. "Lily, people aren't always what they seem. Perhaps you should look at James without your prejudices, try to find out what he's like, before drawing conclusions."

"Oh come on, he's not reserved. He makes his feelings and intentions known, loud and clear. I'm sure there isn't anything to him that the school doesn't already know." She says, vehemently.

"Life is full of surprises, Lily." I look at her, and she has a fixed resolute look on her face. "I think you should give him a chance." We walk silently for a moment. Lily looks deep in thought. I look down at my feet as I walk, thinking about what I had read in Sirius's diary. It had all seemed so sincere, so true – how could he just forget all that? I look up when I hear laughter. It's Sirius; he's with a black haired girl pressed up against the wall. The laughter was coming from the girl as Sirius whispers something in her ears. I look away, pursing my lips. Maybe it was a set up; maybe he wrote it as a tool to get to me, to convince him to give him a chance. Maybe Lily was right: maybe there isn't anything to Sirius and James that we don't already know.


	14. I love him I love her not

NOte: Hi people! First: THANKS!! for you wonderful reviews!!! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Now, on a slightly unhappier note - there won't be any updates from me for the next 10 days, im afraid. I'm going on a trek to the himalayas tomorrow morning, and I won't be back till the 26th june. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience!! But anyway, enjoy!!

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**"I love him?"/ "I love her not."**

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**Month: June**

**End of an academic year**

**Ella**

The past few months flew by in a blur. The end of year exams were alright, I suppose. I look over from my bed to Lily's where she's packing her bag. I sigh. She's been acting so strange lately. She won't tell me; but I can guess: James.

She hasn't said anything, not to me, not to anyone else. But I have caught her smiling in his direction when she thinks that no one's seeing. I pack the last of my possessions in my trunk and then sit myself down morosely on my bed. That was when Lily enter the dorm, with a suspicious smile on her face.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Nothing." She replies. I sigh, irritated.

"Lily, are you ever going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"It's not that hard to figure out really, you two have been smiling at each for the past month, but why won't you tell me?"

"Oh," she mutters, and sits down on the bed, looking at the floor. "I didn't tell you because…well, I don't know, I wasn't so sure about him, and I'm still not. And we're just friends. Honest! Besides, you've been so strange lately; you have this weird far away look on your face. I thought I'd upset you I told you." She says.

I just look at her, and decide that she is right. If she had told me, I think that I would have been a bit jealous, and I don't know I would be able to handle it; my emotions have been so confusing lately, I don't even know what I'm feeling now.

"Well, never mind. So what do you think of him then?" I ask at length.

"He is really nice. A bit mischievous and arrogant, that hasn't changed, but a nice guy at heart." She says, her cheeks reddening at the thought of him. I don't know if she's realised but I suspect that she's fallen for him, despite her best efforts.

**Sirius**

"Oh mate, it's so hard, just being her friend!" James says, waving his hands in frustration. "Especially when she gives me one of those smiles. I swear that she has a special one for me." At that, he grins proudly at me. And I am happy for him. "It's just that, I want there to me something more." He adds and then slouches against the wall on the floor, resting his hands on his knees, limp. I grin back at him.

"Give it time, now that she's warmed up to you; she might even start feeling the same way?" I suggest. James closes his eyes, and smiles, letting his thoughts take him to a far off dream world. I wish I could do that as easily as him.

"Well, I better go see Violet." I say, getting up. At that, James opens his eyes, and looks at me, confused, as if he's trying to work something out, but he's missing an important clue.

"What is it with you? I don't get it; I've tried to figure it out, but I just can't. Why are you going out with Violet? Don't get me wrong, she's hot but," he pauses, "she's not Ella?"

I wish he hadn't asked me that. "I guess that it's easier to get over her if I'm with someone who so unlike her."

"How's that going?"

"Not as well as I'd hoped." Sighing, I sit back down again. "It's like, the more I hang out with Violet, the more I try to like her; the more I fall in love with Ella. It's ridiculous!"

"Are you sure this is the right way to go about it?"

I think for a moment, and then I recall Ella's words to me as she rejected me yet again. "Yes," I say firmly. James knows me well enough to know that I have no wish to pursue this course of conversation, and soon changes the subject.

"Well then, you better get to Violet."

**Ella**

Lily and I step out of the Hogwarts Express, having put our trunks in our compartments. Lily smiles at James, whose striding towards her, with Sirius not far behind him. But he's with someone: Violet. He's been going out with her for a month a half and from what I can see, he's totally smitten. I had no idea that I was that easy to forget.

Lily leaves me to talk to James. I try not to look at Sirius as he puts his hand behind Violet's head and gives her a long, passionate kiss on the mouth, but I can't help it. I feel somewhat insulted that he prefers Violet to me, and there's a strange feeling that I've never experienced before. It makes me clench my fists and want to hit something and puts me on edge. I can't describe it properly but it's as if there's something afire inside me. I turn away, and return to my compartment.

There, I sit, and think – something that I haven't really been able to do much. I put aside the din from outside, and make an attempt to get my thoughts together.

I'd always thought that Sirius was incredibly good looking; and years ago, I even fancied the thought of going out with him, but Lily always warned me against him, and he didn't do or say anything in his defence, if anything, he continued his philandering activities with renewed fervour. But when I read his diary, something came alive inside me; his words had struck a chord, and it had reverberated to the very core of my being. Now, I can see it. Ever since then, I've looked at him in new light. But did I ever return his feelings? That is the question that keeps me up all night; a question that haunts me even in my dreams where he and I are together. I hate him, for all the wrongs that he's done, and for the way he's been treating me since the incident with Transfiguration. He has not just been ignoring me, but has been downright cold towards me. And I don't know why. I hate him, and yet there's a part of me that can't help but like him. I have seen his coldness, his cruelty; but I have also seen his goodness. He likes playing pranks and practical jokes on people, but I have seen him give money to an old tramp in Hogsmead, and comfort this boy who tried and failed to make it in the Quidditch team. I have also seen him help the first years around with no hint of playful maliciousness in him. So do I love him or hate him?

While I'm pondering the last question, Lily comes in, followed by James. At first I think that it's just James, but my heart sinks as I see Remus, and Peter and finally, Sirius enter the compartment.

"I invited them to sit with us. I hope that's alright?" Lily says.

"Yes, of course it is," I reply, forcing a smile, all the while thinking, 'It's going to be a long journey home.'


	15. Helpless

A/N: Hi guys, sorry for the late update, like I said before, I'd gone on a trek in the Himalayas. Anyway, updates should be more regular from now on. I hope that you're not getting bored of the story. Enjoy, R &R!!!

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**Ella  
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I look at James, Remus, Peter and Sirius and nod at each of them as greeting. James instantly takes up the space next to Lily, who cuddles up next to him. Remus sits next to me, Sirius next to James, almost opposite me. I look out of the window, pretending to find a better occupation in the passing trees in my fixed resolve to avoid Sirius.

The door opens once again, and when I turn to look who it is, my heart sinks and I wish I hadn't turned at all. Why is that, whenever you feel that things couldn't get any more wrong, they almost always do?

A tall, slender female entered the compartment, with long brown hair – it's the Ravenclaw I'd spotted Sirius with before. What is she doing here? It becomes clear when she stows her trunk away on the shelf and sits down next to Sirius taking up the same pose as Lily.

I sigh deeply, and close my eyes. Maybe pretending to sleep might work better?

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**Sirius**

I sit down next to James, chancing a few stolen glances at Ella when I can risk it. She's looking out of the window, her lips pursed in displeasure and her forehead creased in thought. There is a definite look of pensiveness about her. I wonder what she's thinking of, but my pondering is broken when the door of the compartment opens once again, and this time it's Violet.

I force a smile at her, and welcome her in my arms. I snake my arm around her waist, holding her close to me, aware of the fact that Ella has suddenly closed her eyes. I can tell she's not asleep, but merely pretending to be. I look away from her, and turn to my girlfriend. I hold her hand in mine, and gently move my thump in circles. I know that she likes it. All the while, I'm painfully aware of Ella's presence in the compartment, but I wish that I wasn't.

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**Ella**

I open my eyes when I sense that the train is no longer moving and swaying in its lulling rhythmic motion. I must have fallen asleep during my pretence. Lily and James are sitting completely still. They both have their wands out, but out of view, as if ready to pounce on unsuspecting prey. The Ravenclaw too has her wand out but she is cowering in Sirius's arms. Peter and Remus too have adopted a similar stance.

I turn to Lily, and before I can even open my mouth to ask a question, she silences me with one look. Scared, I too get my wand out, holding it so tightly in my grasp that my knuckles turn white with effort. My heart is pounding inside my chest - thump-thump, thump-thump – screaming in confusion and fear.

Suddenly, a sudden chill fills the air, and I feel as if a small layer of ice is moving up my body, covering me inside an icy shell. I've read about this, when this coldness steals over people's body. My breath gets a bit foggy as I feel something obstructing my breathing, as if there is something stopping me from taking a deep breath. Dizziness comes over me, and my grip on my wand loosens. I hear a voice… "Come out, come out, wherever you are." says the high pitched voice. It instils a fear in me; a fear that I haven't felt in years. I look around, my heart beat accelerating. The voice continues to echo inside my brain, each time, my heart beating a little faster, a little harder, until my blurred vision turns to darkness and the voice leaves my mind, along with consciousness.

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**Sirius**

The train comes to a sudden halt. Looking from the window, we are still nestled inside a valley, and quite clearly a long way away from London or any other form of civilisation- muggle or magical. Ella is still soundly asleep, unaware of the sudden stop, but everyone else is growing impatient and worried. Whispers are slowly rising to screams of panic and entire train is filled with preposterous thoughts of Death Eaters and Voldemort. Violet clutches my arm in a tight grip, and James, Lily, Remus and Peter get their wands out.

I try to shake Violet's grip off, but she's holding on too tight, preventing me from checking what the commotion is about. But James gets up and looks out of our compartment. He returns to his seat instantly, pensive.

"Dementors." The one word is enough to convey the fear that is resounding the walls of the train, as other people scream as they recall their worst memories.

"Think of Happy Times." I say, firmly, myself recalling the times at school when I'd been happy, but coldness creeps up on me still. I close my eyes, thinking of other happy times, but to no effect.

I hear a moan from the corner, and to my dismay, it's Ella. She's awake and clearly remembering something unpleasant. Her face is distorted in fear and pain and her eyes are wide in horror as she stares into empty space.

A hand pushes through the small slit of the door, and all of us feel the sudden drop in temperature. Violet is not screaming at the top of her lungs next to me, and I am still desperately trying to recall something happy.

"Expecto Patronum!" yells James and a silver form of a stag shoots out of his wand. I'm still racking my brain for a happy memory, but nothing comes to mind, my head is clouded with tormenting memories of my family, and my mother's shrill tones. I can barely just hold on…I look over at the slumped figure of Ella. She's no longer moving, or moaning. I try not to think of the worst. I remember when she hugged me, and kissed me in my phoenix form. I remember the thrill of exhilaration that sent down my body, and the warmth and love that exuded from my heart with such force that I thought it would explode. Instantly, I feel a little better.

"Expecto Patronum!" I yell but my patronus is nothing in comparison to James'. It is merely a small wispy cloud that flows feebly out of my wand. Soon, my weak attempt at a patronus vanishes and so does James. He collapses on the floor, at my feet. My vision blurs, but I see a figure step out from behind the Dementors. He glides pass me, sending a shiver down my spine as he does. I see him move over to Ella's body, and I want to stop him. What is he doing? I want to move, but I can't. My wand has fallen out of my hand, out of my reach. I can't even scream in protest. Before I can see what he's doing, I too pass out.


	16. Lost

Hiya, Thanks for the reviews!!! I really appreciate them! :) here's the next chapter! I hope that you like it!!!

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**Ella**

My head feels heavy, and there's a tingly feeling at the back of my neck. I find it hard to open my eyes, as if there is something weighing my lids down. My throat feels parched and I'm unable to move my limbs. When I open my eyes, I see why: I've been tied together, and hung upside down. I look down at a table with a masked figured sitting at each desk. There is only one person who sits unveiled at the head of the table. I can't see him properly but the power and authority that he exudes is enough to tell me who he is: You-Know-Who.

I want to scream, but the sight of him mutes it. I move my hands slowly, to feel my wand, but it's not there. I see it hovering in front of You-Know-Who.

"I believe this is what you are looking for?" he asks, with a lilting silkiness to his voice.

"What do you want?" my voice falters slightly as I address the man the entire world feared. I try to keep my gaze at him steady but unable to keep it fixed for long. I look down at the table. There is a small throbbing head ache developing as my body sways from the string.

"We have a proposition for you," it's a different voice, a voice that I recognise, "sister,"

**Sirius**

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We search every where for Ella, but there isn't even a smallest trace of her. I don't want to admit it, but after three hours, when the sun has set, and the ministry has given up the search, I am forced to accept that fact that Ella is gone, taken. She can't be dead, I tell myself, for if she was, there would be a body. Voldemort doesn't want dead bodies, so the Death Eaters would have no reason to hide it.

But why do they want her in the first place?

"Padfoot," James whispers, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, "let's go. There's nothing else we can do." Putting my head down in resignation, I let James apparate me from the station to his house. For once, I gladly welcome the suffocating sensation, wishing that it never stops – physical pain is better than the mental torment that I will surely suffer until Ella is found again.

**Ella**

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"Edward," I whisper, my eyes wide in disbelief. I want to cry. Why is my brother here? What is he doing here? The reason is so very clear, and yet I push it away, hoping that another explanation will present itself. "How could you?" I ask, a tear siding down my temple and disappearing into my hair.

"It is the best decision that I ever made. The glory, Ella, and the power! How could I resist."

I shake my head, telling myself that this can not be my brother. Not my sweet, sweet brother who held me when I was scared or upset; not the brother who was always overprotective of me; not the brother who looked after me when I was sick.

"Ella, will you at least listen?"

"Do you wish to return to the world where you might die at the hands of your own brother?" hisses the cold voice of the Dark Lord, "what attraction is there in the world where your feelings are unreturned? You are powerful, I can sense it. And here, your powers and abilities will not go unnoticed; your wishes will not be ignored." He looks at me, and now, I can look straight into his dark orbs. There is something in his words, something true. Maybe he's right. No, he is right. What is there for me with the side of the Good? Nothing but death and suffering. Lily is too absorbed in James, and Sirius with his Ravenclaw. What is there for me? My brother is here. He will look after me. He will not let any harm come to me. I can trust him; he's always been there for me.

"You are right, how can you live with _them _and their fickle hearts? Come and fight alongside me." The voice that earlier, I found revolting and creepy now draws me towards it. It's enticing; the words – lulling. And all the while, I continue staring into the darkness that dwells in The Dark Lord's eyes. I close my eyes, his words ringing on my mind, over and over again. Power, Glory, Attention, Importance, Power, Glory, Love. Yes, he is right. I think of the people I know, their once-innocent image now marred with disgust and distrust. One can only trust family. My brother is here; The Dark Lord will give us protection, shelter. Yes, Yes, he is right.


	17. Changed

AN: I know you guys want a long chapter, and you'll get one soon!!!! Thanks for the reviews!!!! keep reading =)

CHanged

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**Sirius**

The entire summer has gone by with no word from Ella, not that she would write to me anyway. But I have been asking Lily about any news and updates – we have become quite good friends over the past 8 weeks. It's as if she has disappeared from the world completely. And though I don't want to, the thought of it snatches a small part of me from me. It makes me feel so hollow and so without substance that I feel like those muggle inanimate and hollow porcelain dolls. An obsession has taken over my mind – I read into everything, a bit too much at times in the hope that something might contain a clue as to Ella's whereabouts. James tells me that I should give up, he's given up, and I can tell by the way he looks at me, that my state distresses him, worries him.

And he's right. I have to stop. But I can't. I feel like this is a mystery and there is something that I am missing.

Ella has to be still alive, if she were – I gulp back the torrent of emotions – dead, her body would have been found.

'Not unless they want you to think that she's still alive and go on a wild goose chase on that one, tiny thread,' whispers a venomous voice in my mind. I tear up the piece of parchment I had been writing on in frustration. 'She has to be alive', I tell myself firmly.

She is alive, and if we haven't found her, then that must mean that they still have her. But what do they want from her? Argh, my head! Why can't I think of something? Why does it always revert back to the worst possible scenario: death?

Where is she? Oh Merlin, where the hell is she?

**Ella**

I'm sitting in a chair in a large, almost dark room. The light from the chandelier is barely enough to light the entire room, but enough to shed the person sitting opposite me in view. It is just me and him, alone. His pale, expressionless face looks back it. His eyes, if you can call them that, they have been stretched and pulled back that they don't have any resemblance to human eyes anymore. His dark, slit like pupils stare back at me, cold and calculating. His is the Dark Lord, the most powerful wizard that ever existed. He is my master. I can feel his mark burning on my skin, embedding itself deeper and deeper in the folds of my being. I can feel myself retreating in the darkness; and all that I believed in – reduced to dust. He is my master, and I have given myself completely to him.

I can see his expressionless face shift slightly, this thin pale lips stretch into what you can almost consider to be a smile.

**Sirius**

There is still no news of Ella.

I have broken up with Violet.

School has restarted.

James says that he's worried.

I look ill, he says.

Why isn't there any news?

**Ella**

"Priestley, I have heard certain things about you from a reliable source." My master hisses, "I can sense that you hold great power within you. With a little training, I believe that you can become a great witch." He says. He must be referring to the time I turned Sirius into a shape-shifting animal.

"That is the exact incident." I freeze. He read my mind. The thought chills me slightly, but I try not to let it show. "I am sending you with Caleb. Learn all that you can."

I nod, and then he signals with one small movement of his hand that he wants me to leave. Bowing to him, I leave. Outside, I find a man waiting for me. He doesn't look much older than me. He has three scars on his cheek, all of them almost parallel, as if he was clawed across the cheek or something. His eyes are dark, almost black, and the coldness in them is similar to that in the Dark Lord's eyes but less extreme.

"I'm Caleb. We are leaving tomorrow. So please pack all of your belongings."

"Where are we going?" I ask. He doesn't answer me, he just turns and walks away, leaving me alone in the cold darkness.


	18. Rite of Passage

AN:Thanks for the reviews everyone!!!!!!!!! =) And **BrookliManda, **don't worry, there will be some Sirius-Ella interaction soon!! I promise! :) enjoy, R&R!

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**Rite of Passage**

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**One Year Later – Summer 1978**

**Sirius**

The world has changed. I remember it when it was a bright, happy place where smiling and laughing felt like the most natural thing in the world. How could all that have happened in one year? I've changed. I've grown. I reflect on the past year as I look at my reflection in the mirror. I adjust the tie one last time. I'm the best man. James and Lily don't want to waste any time; they're getting married. James' parents recently died as well; I was distraught with grief as if they were my own parents. In fact, they were better than my actual parents.

I turn around and leave the room. I head for James' room, to see how he's faring. It's his big day, after all. I enter, and he's sitting down with a photo album in his hands. I quietly move to stand beside him. I put a comforting hand on his shoulder, as a tear drops from his eyes to the laughing image of his mother. "She'd want to be here." He whispers.

"She is here, in spirit. She is looking over you, Prongs." I say.

James nods, and turns the page. It's a picture of all of us. 'All but one' I can't help thinking. She's dead, I tell myself, pushing the image of her out of my mind. James closes the book, and gets up. With a wave of his wand, he clears his face of any sign of tears, and grins broadly at me.

"James Potter, about to a married man. How do you feel?" I ask, returning his grin.

"I feel great, like this is the right thing, like this is meant to happen. Like Destiny. And I love her." He says. Then his gaze falls on the newspaper mourning yet more deaths. "Perhaps, it's the time isn't as I'd wanted it to be, but we're here now."

Then, Peter and Remus enter the room as well. And we al smile broadly at each other, grinning in happiness that will disappear the minute me leave the place. "Ready, mate?" Remus asks, throwing a wide but weary grin at James. He looks drawn. Clearly last week's transformation took a great toll on him that we'd realised. "Yes, I'm ready."

We're in Hogwarts. We couldn't thin of a safer place to get married – besides, this is the place where they met, where they fell in love. This is in a way a sort of home to them.

The Great Hall has been transformed. The ceiling is a clear sky blue, the artificial sun smiling down on the couple. The benches and long tables that usually furnish the room have been removed; instead, there are a few chairs to accommodate the small congregation that is present: Me, Remus, Peter, Lily's parents and sister, and Dumbledore, who will marry them. Of course, there is the bride and groom – there won't be a wedding without them! Small pillars, decorated with red and white roses have been put up around the platform where we stood; crimson rose petals blessing the raised altar with love. Then, the great door opened, and Lily walks in. She looks breathtakingly beautiful, dressed in a simple cream lace dress and her hair up in a bun, holding a small bouquet of white roses and white lilies in her hand.

I look at James and he's transfixed. There is a twinkle in his eyes as he takes in the sight of his fiancée, his soon-to-be wife. When Lily reaches the altar, standing opposite James, the procession begins. I smile, but deep down, I wish there could be someone else here present with us. Lily would have liked that. Maybe she didn't think that anyone noticed it, but while walking slowly to the wedding march, I noticed her wandering gaze, moving swiftly from one person to the next, never lingering for long, searching.

**Ella**

"Avada Kedavra!" Sharp, bright green threads of the curse exude from my wand hitting my prey squarely in the chest. His limp body falls with a loud thud on the floor, dead.

'Accio, Map of Hogwarts,' I say in my head, and a rolled up piece of parchment comes whizzing through the air, landing softly in my hand. My fingers curl over the paper in victory. I step over the dead body; waving my wand, I upturn the furniture, open the drawers and the wardrobe – I throw the whole room in disarray. Stepping out of the house, I shoot my mark at the top of my house. Pleased when the green skull shines over the house, I leave.

I give the map to Caleb. He smiles at me his trademark crooked smile. I hate to admit it, but whenever he does that, something inside me stirs. I smile back, glad that I had quickly mastered the art of Occlumency. He stows the map away inside his robes. With one wave of his wand, he produces two glasses filled to the brim with red wine. "I think that we should celebrate. One year, Ella. You have changed so much. You have turned from a timid rabbit to a strong lioness. And today, you made it final – your first kill. How does it feel?" he says, handing me the glass.

"It feels," I pause, wondering for the first time what I felt about the ruthless murder that I had just committed, "thrilling," I said at last. He throws me a wider grin, "Welcome, partner, you are now, officially, a Death Eater." He puts his glass down, and moves closer. He holds my face in his arms and before I even have time to think, I feel his lips on mine. My wine glass crashes to the floor, but neither of us care. I put my arms around his head, and his hands move from my face to my waist, pulling me closer. His lips burn as they move in synch with mine, his tongue darting in and out of my mouth. I don't know what to think. I feel pleasure and pain, ecstasy rising from my core. And then, I see him - his grin, his black eyes and aristocratic looks; I smell him as Caleb lays a trail of kisses on my neck. I open my eyes, and I can feel the ecstasy retreating, and pain taking over.


	19. Found

AN: here's the next chapter. Hope that you guys like the chapter. Sorry, there's nothing on Sirius but there will be soon. =)

**Found**

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**Ella**

_I'm at Hogwarts, sixth year, back in Sirius' dormitory. He has just returned to his human form. _

"_I love you, Sirius," I find myself saying. I don't know where the words are coming from but they seem to be flowing out like overflowing water in a container. "I'm sorry that I hurt you so much. I'm sorry that I left you. Please forgive me. I didn't know what I was doing." Sirius just gives a cold, hard stare and without another word, leaves me alone with my despair in the room. I sit and weep. _

_The scene changes. I'm in a garden. There is an archway in front of me, where stands the Dark Lord, and next to him someone else with his back to me. Looking around, there are people that I have known, and loved. On one side there are Death Eaters and Dementors, people from my life now, and on the other there is Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, mum, dad family – people from my past. I look down, and realise that I'm dressed in a white satin dress – I'm the bride and this is my wedding. I smile and walk, slowly down the aisle to where my fiancé is standing. I wonder why it isn't Sirius but the question quickly flies out of my mind as I approach the altar. The groom turns, and I get the shock of my life. It is the most horrible face that I have encountered in my life. There is no flesh, or any sign that there ever was any on the black skeleton that rests on the neck of the body standing nest to me. It is just black, with empty, hollows for eyes. With his back to me, and his top hat on, it was hard to tell the true nature of my groom. I should run, I should scream and run, but I'm not. I stand firmly next to me, and strangely enough, I hear my voice saying 'I do' sealing my fate forever. I turn and at the end of the aisle is another face. It is the face of the wizard I had murdered today. What was his name? I don't know. As we reach the end of the aisle, nearer to the ghost of the dead wizard, there is thin black snack that slowly slides its way out of my husband's mouth. And then, I realise that it is not just a skeleton. My groom has the head of the Dark Mark. I drop my flowers to the floor. _

I sit up, in sweats. That was the worst nightmare that I have ever had. My mind has been plagued by weird, cryptic and scary images since the day I first performed my first dark magic spell, but none of them had been as clear and vivid as this. I place hand on my chest, hoping that it would clam my racing heart down.

"What happened?" Caleb asks, moving under the covers to face me.

"No, just a nightmare."

"Well, good. I thought someone had broken in or something." With that, he turns his back to me and goes back to sleep. I look at him with mixed feelings. He was oddly attractive for a scarred man, but not very comforting. If Sirius had been in his place…I stop myself. I do not want to go there. I wrap my arms around myself, remembering the hug that Sirius had given me. I could still remember the warmth of it. A tear trickled down my face. I could never go back to that now. I could never go back to that one single moment. I wish I could change it; change everything that ever happened.

'But you can go back to him,' says a voice in my head. And slowly out of the fog of confusion and fear, an idea reveals itself. As silently as I can, I dress myself. I stand still, looking at Caleb's back…should I do this?

'They won't take you if they find out about the mark.' The venomous voice was back again. If I did this, it would be it. They would never trust me again. The Dark Lord would kill me. I would be left, stranded alone in the middle.

Not sparing another second's thought on the matter, I summon Hogwarts' map. Then I remember Caleb. He's smart. He would figure it out in the end. And then they would be after me like a swarm of bees attracted to honey. I should kill him. I get my wand out. But then, I stop. Should I kill him? He's not that bad, not really. Yes, he has killed. Yes, he is a Death Eater. But aside from that, he is a decent enough guy. In another world, where all this rampageous war and bloodshed didn't exist, I could be friends with him, maybe even like him. So, should I kill him? It's a choice between my freedom and his life. Simply erasing his memory would not do. The Dark Lord will be able to see through it.

In the end, I decide to encase him in stone. Essentially, turn him into a stone statue. After levitating him to the attic of his house, where I put a Disillusionment Charm on him, I leave the house. I didn't kill him. If and when someone undoes the magic, he will safely return to life. And perhaps, if no one does, it might even see him through the war safely. I smile as I feel my conscious taking a small, fragile breath.


	20. Loving a Woman

AN: Hi, here's the next chapter. I'm sorry if this seems a bit erratic, but you'll just have to bear with me..or it? lol. Enjoy!

**Loving a Woman**

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**Sirius**

James and Lily have gone to Lily's house, leaving me here alone. I know I shouldn't grumble; it is their wedding night after all. But I don't like being left alone. Solitude has become toxic now; lack of occupation leads my thoughts down to only too familiar alleys and throws me into deep, endless pit of painful reminisces. "Tom, get me a pint of fire whiskey." I shout from where I'm sitting in the dark secluded corner of the pub. A glass of murky orange liquids appears before me. I drink the burning poison in order to keep the pain at bay. Tomorrow, I will start my first day for the Order of the Phoenix. But I need one night to forget.

Two more pints later, I can barely see properly, but I'm past caring. There's a hooded figure sitting opposite me. I don't know for how long. There is something familiar about the eyes that are staring back at me with silent sadness and longing and the sweet voice with which she speaks, if only I could place it. Something tugs at my mind, telling me that this is important, but my mind is too filled with alcohol to make any sense of it.

"What happened to you?" she asks. And strangely enough, words just spill out of my mouth like they had been queuing up to do just that. What's left of my heart unravels in my drunkenness, my soul laid bare.

**Ella **

I head for the Leaky Cauldron. There, I can perhaps find someone willing to impart information. Fate has a curiously torturous sense of humour. I find him sitting alone in the darkness. He is wearing dress robes, although I can't imagine an occasion for them given the darkness that the world has plunged into. I put my hood up, and walk up to him. I hardly know what I'm doing. He looks at me, or rather right through me, like I'm not even here.

"Hi, Sirius." I say. He merely grunts in response and orders another pint of fire whiskey. "What happened to you?"

"A woman named Ella. Loving a woman – oh, never again." He muttered, more to himself than me. I flinch slightly at the bitterness in his words but still, I can't help smiling.

"Tell me more." I whisper.

"Nothing to tell really." He slurs. "Formidable woman. Gorgeous, clever, smart and strong. She thrust her hand in my chest and wrenched my heart out and vanished off the face of the world with it." I don't say anything. There is a terrible ache in my throat that I can't swallow. "Some think that she's betrayed us, like the rest of her family. But I know her. I know she would never do that. She hasn't got it in her to kill in cold blood. I think she's dead. Gone with my heart forever." He took a swig of his drink. I blink back the tears that are about to spill any second. I knew that people would not have expected me to turn my back on them but listening to Sirius rant about it implanted a massive ball of guilt in my stomach. Betrayal is the bitterest thing in the world, especially if you're the one doing the betraying.

"Have I seen you before somewhere?" I start. I thought that he couldn't recognise me for the darkness.

"N-no." I stutter, panicking. "No you haven't. I had better go now." I get up and leave, without looking back though I can sense him looking at me. Then, I turn around and return to his table where he's now lying unconscious. I conjure up a parchment and quill, and scribble a quick note for him. I stow it away in the pocket of his dress robe. I spend a few minutes taking in every detail of his face. I bend down and kiss his cheek. "I am so, so sorry." I whisper, a tear falling on his face. I turn and rush out of the pub. As I step outside in the almost empty London street, I realise with a sinking feeling that I can never go back. Not ever. With the Dark Lord, once you make a choice, one you sell your soul to the Devil himself, there is no turning back.

**Sirius**

I wake up with a huge headache, the after affects of alcohol throbbing painfully against my head. I am still in the Leaky Cauldron, although it is much quieter now. I get up, flinching slightly at the brightness. Staggering to the counter, my walk resembling that of a toddler's who's just discovered the use of his feet, I pay the barman and quietly leave. I apparate to James' house. James kindly offered his residence for the headquarters of the Order.

"Ah, just in time Mr Black. Had you been even a second later, you would have required the secret code to enter." It's Professor Dumbledore. He smiles at me through his half moon spectacles, his wand aloft, quivering with magic.

"Professor Dumbledore is putting some protective charms on the house." James explains. I smile weakly back at the two of them and other wizards who are gathered around, some that I recognise and some that I don't.

"Where's Remus?"

"He should be here soon."

I take off the top cloak of my robes. A small parchment falls off the folds of the fabric. Intrigued, I pick it up. I freeze.

"What is it?"

James takes the parchment from my hands and reads the message aloud. "An important Death Eater can be found at 16 Deerwood Lane, London in the attic under an invisibility charm."

"Where did you get this?" it's a witch from the other end that I've never seen before.

"I don't know. I don't remember."

Professor Dumbledore looks at me thoughtfully. "What are you thinking, Mr Black?"

"Nothing." I say, looking up. "Nothing." But it's not nothing. I recognise the hand writing, but it can't be. But there is no denying the distinct curl of the letter 'D'. That's how Ella wrote her 'D's. But she's dead. She can't have done.

Lily takes the note from James' hands. I look up at her, and she returns my confused look. Ella is dead. Then how did she write this note?


	21. The Plan

**The Plan**

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**Ella**

I couldn't go back to the house, and return Caleb to his normal state – he would have killed me immediately. I had to give Sirius his whereabouts. My mind is in such turmoil. I don't know what to do. I didn't even think this thing through. What if it all comes crashing down on me? I spend the night at a muggle motel, waiting for the night to pass. But I can't sleep. I haven't slept in so long. I think it is a curse of joining the dark side: restlessness, and sleepless nights.

I need to think about it. I need to come up a plan, something that the Dark Lord will accept. What if I pretend that we were caught? What if I pretend that Caleb was caught and…_what about you, Ella – the coward who ran away? _

I ignore the voice in my mind which had made its presence known a lot more lately. This could work. Caleb taught me so many things…what if they hurt him? What if they kill him? He is a killer, he bathes in the dark arts but underneath it all, I think he's alright. But maybe that's just the dark side of me speaking? Maybe they ought to kill him.

_What if they don't? What if they keep him alive and he tells them about you? _I gulp at the thought of Lily and Sirius finding out. It will crush them. I remember Sirius' face, his haunted eyes. It will crush him, maybe even destroy him. Why does he love me like that?

I turn on my bed, a solitary tear sliding down my face.

What should I do? Someone, anyone, please tell me what to do?

I scream as a familiar, sharp pain grips my left shoulder, immobilizing it. It's the Dark Lord. He's calling us. I feel something pinching me, first in just my arm but then it spreads to my entire body. I feel like someone is trying to pull the very skin off of my body. I close my eyes and pain, and when I open them, I find myself, not in the hotel room but in a huge dark hall – the Malfoy Manor. I haven't been in here in almost a year.

The Dark Lord sits on his throne at the top of the table where once I was suspended upside down. I take my place next to Malfoy, with Snape sitting opposite me. It had not surprised me one bit to find both of them working for my master. I can't believe that Lily used to defend Snape at school.

"I have brought you here today to discuss some important matters." He hisses, "I have a plan to overthrow Dumbledore and his _precious _Order. I require your assistance. Priestley, you will be our espionage. I want you to infiltrate the Order. They are more likely to accept you back as one their own. Snape and Malfoy, you two will set up a trap for them. Lure them, so they can see for themselves that I no longer require Priestley's services."

With that one order, he waves his hand, bidding us to leave. I have a cold, dead feeling in my heart. I can't do this. I wanted to return to them, but not like this. Oh, Merlin, not like this.

"Not you, Priestley. I want you to stay." I gulp. What does he want? I shield my thoughts from him, with just the two of us alone, he is bound to read them and…I can't risk that.

"Come here." He hisses, after Snape and Malfoy have gone.

Hesitantly, I walk over to where he is sitting, my breath irregular, and my heart beat – fast. He turns his bald, pale head to look at me, and instantly, I feel the same pricking sensation pulling me down till I'm on my knees. Clearly, the idea of simply asking me to sit seemed too ridiculous to him, too beyond him. He grabs my left arm, his thin slender claws digging in my skin, squeezing it till all the blood circulation in my arm stops. With his wand hand, he rips my sleeve, till the arm is bare, the Dark Mark can be seen tattooed on my upper arm, shining even in the darkness.

"I can't have the Order doubting your intentions." He holds my arm even tighter, and then he presses his wand to the mouth of the skull. The tip of his wand is cold, dead cold, rather like him. It's only a mere touch but it makes the hair at the back of my neck stand on end. He mutters something incomprehensible and then excruciating pain sears in my arm and I feel like he is sawing my arm in two, cutting it off altogether. I scream, begging him to stop. He neither raises his head, nor does he stop: it's like he didn't even hear me. When I look, the Mark is glowing red, and I can feel something wet trickling down my arm. I try to pull away but that only makes his grip tighter.

And then he stops, but he maintains his firm hold on me. The pain is still there. I look down, and shudder. It is blood. My entire arm is covered in my blood.

"I have made my Mark invisible but only to those who don't bear it. You can go now." He says, letting go of me. I fall backwards, as I gasp. I bow, trying to hide the pain that must be etched all over my face. I stand up, walk a bit away from him, bow again and apparate. They must have gone to Snape's house.

"What did he want?" Lucius asks as soon as I appear in front of them.

"He made the Mark invisible to them. Only we can see it. I show my arm. Snape waves his wand and the blood disappears off my arm, leaving no sign of the assault and torture that my bones had just suffered. But the Dark Mark is no longer black, but a deep crimson red. Like my blood, I think, sickeningly.

"Thanks," I say weakly to Snape who leaves to get me a drink. I collapse on the sofa.

"I hope you're not thinking of double crossing the Dark Lord, Ella." Malfoy says, in his usual sharp, curt tone.

"Of course not." I whisper. The screaming and the pain seem to have zapped me of my energy. I feel like there is no life left in me.

"Good. Because you know that anyone who betrays the Dark Lord can never survive." He moves closer, his face only inches away from mine. He places his hand on my left arm, right where the Mark is. "Because the Dark Mark is not just a Mark." He says harshly. I look at Malfoy, trying to hide my fear. I have no choice. I have to do this. If I don't, I die for sure. I have to do this. They won't be able to see it, and I won't be able to tell them. I have to lie to the people that once loved, to the people that I still love, I think. I feel a tight feeling in my chest, like someone is squeezing the life out of my heart.

**Sirius**

James barges in the room. He has his wand out, and there is an urgent look on his face. "Death Eaters." He doesn't need to say anything more. I get up on my feet, get my wand out, and we both apparate to the site. Ever since I got the letter, I have been haunted. My dreams plague me at night and my thoughts during the day. There is no rest. She is out there somewhere. Alive. She is not a Death Eater. Why else would she have sent us that letter?

We apparate in a dark alley. The air is filled with screams of pain and pleas of help. I recognise that voice. My heart skips a beat: It's Ella. I look at James. We follow the screams. We leave the alleyway for the road ahead.

"Lumos" James whispers, looking around. And then we see them, at the end of the lane. There are two of them. One has long platinum blond hair: Malfoy, and the other is just a figure in black. When we get closer I recognise him: Snape. I want to kill them both right there and then. Lying, bloody and weak at the bottom of the wall is Ella. Her hair is caked with blood; there are scratches all over her face.

"Stupefy!" I yell, pointing my wand at Snape. Malfoy moves forwards, a shot of blue light escapes his wand, but James shoots a counter spell back at it.

"Sirius, get Ella and leave! I'll follow you in a minute." My wand, pointing at Malfoy, in case James need any help, I move over to where Ella is lying, now unconscious. I summon her wand, and then holding her hand tightly, I close my eyes and apparate outside James' House.

"Headquarters of the Order of Phoenix may be found at the Potter Residence." I say, loud and clear, my voice shaking only slightly as I stand, waiting for the house to materialise, holding Ella's body in my arms. As soon as the House appears, James apparates next to me, and we both enter together.

I lay Ella down on the sofa gently so as not to hurt her anymore. My face is grave as I look at the blood all over her. She is in a far worse condition that I had first imagined her to be. Lily rushes in the room.

"Oh, my God!" I hear her yell and then soon after, she leaves the room again. She returns with Dumbledore close behind her.


	22. One Lie After Another

AN: Hiya, here's the next chapter!! R&R! :) Also, just to clarify, ONLY the death eaters and Voldemort can see Ella's mark, basically anyone who has the mark tattoed on their arm. Anyone WITHOUT the mark CAN NOT see it :)

**One Lie After Another**

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**Ella**

I open my eyes to find myself in a strange, unfamiliar room. There are posters of the English and Irish Quidditch Teams all over the walls. There is a decidedly masculine air to the room. I wonder for a second how I got here. And then, I remember; and then, the pain and fear return. I must be in Sirius' room. He found me. I had hoped that he wouldn't. I had hoped that maybe they wouldn't fall for it, or perhaps that I would be dead long before they could find me.

My suspicion are confirmed when Sirius enters the room, followed by Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore. I gulp, and immediately guard my thoughts, and try to keep a clear, composed face. Sirius rushes and crouches down next to the bed.

"How are you?" he asks, worry clearly shining in his eyes, and something else – something that I don't want to see; something that will make this job all the more harder.

I don't trust myself to speak, fearing that if I open my mouth my secret will come pouring out. So, I just nod. Madam Pomfrey nudges Sirius asides and starts assessing my body and injuries.

"Does this hurt?" she asks gently, putting pressure on the side of my chest. I wince in pain, and a small moan escapes me. She purses her lips, continues her examination.

I look up at Sirius who has gone now. I didn't even notice him leave. Then my eyes fall on Dumbledore who regarded with a wary expression on his face and a curious shine in his eyes. Does he know? He can't know. I look away before my eyes betray my secret.

**Sirius**

I walk into my room to find Ella sitting up, looking slightly confused. I rush to her side, and hold her hand.

"How are you?" I ask, trying not to let her battered and bruised face scare me, or worry me. She will be fine. She looks at me, and there is something in her eyes, something dark. It only makes my blood boil with anger – what did they _do _to her to make her like this, so scared, and so very fragile. She nods slowly, as if it hurts to do even that.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and even without looking, I know that it's Madam Pomfrey. I step aside, to let her to do her work. I can't tear my eyes off of her. I watch her, her ashen face – where the bruises let her almost transparent skin be seen – and her closed eyes, screwed shut as Madam Pomfrey prods and pokes her already weak body. There is only so much keeping me standing where I am, instead ripping the sick, sadistic bastards who reduced her to this to shreds. I feel like I'm standing right at the precipice, so very close to snapping. I can't take it any more. I can't stand and watch her go through with this. I know that I am supposed to be strong, but this is something that I can't do. I leave the room as quietly as I can.

**Ella**

Madam Pomfrey finishes her examination and turns to Professor Dumbledore. "She'll be alright, Albus," she says, "I've fixed what I could, but those Death Eaters performed some really Dark Magic on her, magic only time can heal." She says. I still have my eyes closed but I can hear her words.

"_Crucio!" Malfoy yells with a hint of amusement in his voice as he points his wand towards me. He's enjoying this, I realise sickeningly. I scream as agonising pain grips my body, and twists it in ways that I could never have imagined. I feel like someone is tearing me apart, putting me together and then tearing me up again – a never ending cycle of sadism. _

I hear Madam Pomfrey leave the room and close the door behind her. Dumbledore takes a step forwards, "Miss Priestley," he says gently. "I know that this is a lot to ask of you right now, but I must ask you what happened. Where were you the past year? And how you came to be in this state?" he says.

My whole body shakes with fear and confusion. There is such warmth and comfort here. I wonder why I even left this for the darkness where everything is cold and dead, and there is sorrow everywhere. Here, I can just feel, in the air, the love and comfort. I can't tell him the truth. I remember Malfoy's words:

_Then Malfoy moves his wand, and stops. And though the pain is still there, I can breath slightly._

"_Stop," I whisper. "Please." _

"_You need to remember this moment, Priestley, because if you even think about betraying the Dark Lord, the suffering you will go through then will be a million times worse than this." Malfoy sneers, and once again puts me under the cruciatus curse. I writhe and scream in agony. I bite my lip, which instead of making the pain go away, only makes it worse. And with every passing second, you would think that I would get used to it, but no, with every passing second, the pain rises to a whole new level of torture. _

"I…I don't remember." I say, my voice quivering. It hurts to even speak but this needs to be said now – I want to get this ordeal done and over with as soon as possible. "It was dark. There were voices." I pause for breath.

"What kind of voices?" he urges on. But I only shake my head. I can't do this. How can I lie to them? I don't want to do this.

"Screams." I say at last.

"Miss Priestley, I would like to examine you myself, if you don't mind." I nod my consent. Then, he takes my left arm in his hand, and slowly and carefully so as not to hurt me any more, he lifts the sleeve up. It was unmarked, save for the bruises, and cuts. Then he lifts his wand, and points it to the place where the mark should be. The wand emits a faint white light from the tip of his wand, and for a moment I fear that I will be found.

"They did not try to turn you?" he asks.

"I resisted." I say, wishing that my words had been true, wishing that I had resisted. At least then I would not have to do this. "They only kept me alive only because of my brother." One lie after another. 'When this is all over, how will you live with yourself?'

**Sirius**

Dumbledore comes out after a few minutes. I know what he is doing in there: seeing if she has changed. But I know Ella. I know that she would do no such thing. She is strong. "She is not a Death Eater." Dumbledore announces, reading everyone's thoughts. I sigh, and release the breath that I didn't even know that I was holding. I knew it.

I smile at James and then at Frank who hadn't stopped shouting words of caution since the moment that I'd brought Ella in. He thought that it was plan. But he didn't know Ella. It is true that I was never good friends with her, and I didn't know her as well as perhaps Lily did but I used to observe her, her ever movement, her every expression. And I know that her innocent face with lights up at the smallest of thing could not possibly turn to the dark side which reeks of death and destruction.

"I know that you are all eager to see her, but I suggest that you let her rest for a while. She has been through a terrible ordeal." Dumbledore says.

Lily looks at me and James and then looks at Dumbledore before speaking, "Sir, if it's alright, I would like to go sit with her."

The old man smiles at her, and his eyes twinkle with his permission.

I turn around to face Frank. "I told you that she would never give in to evil." I say scornfully.

He still looked at me, dubiously like he had before. "Sirius, I would still be very careful around her. Something is not right, and I know it."


	23. An Unexpected Kiss

AN: Heya, here's the next chapter. Hope that you like it!! :) R&R??

**An Unexpected Kiss**

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**Sirius**

I stand in the corner of the room, where all the members of the Order are gathered. James is standing next to me on the left and Lily next to him. To my right, huddled in a close dark space is Peter.

I know why Dumbledore called for this meeting: to discuss Ella. Lily told me that there is no mark on Ella's arm. She is clean.

"I am sure you are wondering why I have gathered you here, and I think that some of you have probably already guessed the reason. Eleanor Priestley has been found again after a year. I realise that some of you are suspicious of the circumstances while others couldn't be happier."

"Here, here!" yells a voice that I recognise to be Frank's but I can't see him anywhere.

Dumbledore ignores him and continues addressing the order. "But I am here to reassure you that Miss Priestley is not in alliance with the Death Eaters."

There is utter silence in the room. I am relieved, and I can see Lily muttering her thanks to God. But there are also others who look puzzled, suspicious even. But no one dares question Dumbledore. He twinkles at us, and then takes his leave and apparates. The second a 'pop' is heard, everyone shatters the silence by shouts and screams.

"Hey!" I yell. "Ella is one of us. If Dumbledore believes her, then so should you!" I leave the room, unable to stand amongst these heartless beasts. I walk out and I can hear James and someone else trying to get them to calm down.

"They're shouting because of me, aren't they?" a sweet voice drifts towards me from the end of the corridor. It's Ella. Even now, she looks so delicate. I can see her collar bones protruding out from her flesh, threatening to tear it apart and reveal themselves. The thin skin, still somewhat bruised skin clings to her skull, and there are heavy bags under her haunted, dark eyes. Where is the girl that I fell in love with? I hope that she is in there somewhere.

"You shouldn't be out here." I whisper back. "You should rest."

"No, I want to walk Sirius. I haven't felt the fresh air on my face without trying to whiff out any danger from the air in so long." She pleads, pale face contorting – I can only assume that she was trying to look like a little girl, only the expression that hung on her tormented face does not resemble a little girl in the least. Still, I smile at her, and nod.

**Ella**

I open my eyes and find myself still in the same room. A flimsy dress hangs weakly on my body and though I can't see myself, but judging by the small bruises scattered over my arms with small blue veins snaking in and around them, I would guess that my face is pretty much the exact same replica of my arms. I try to move, and at first my legs hurt, and I'm reminded of the torture that they had to go through to come here. But I swallow the initial pain and force myself out of bed. Soon after walking around in the room, the pain ebbs away.

I hear shouts from outside. Curious, I open the door and limp outside using the walls as support. They're coming from downstairs. I slowly and carefully move down the stairs, cursing Malfoy and Snape at every step. As I go down the voices get louder and I can hear my name being yelled quite often. No need to wonder what they're talking about then. I hear a familiar voice shout over the others but I can't make out what its saying. Then with a loud bang, a figure leaves the room. I can't see his face for the black wavy hair but I know who it is – Sirius. He looks up at me with his piercing gaze, and there's something in his eyes that I haven't seen in so long – pity and sadness. It's sort of humbling. "They're shouting because of me, aren't they?" I say at last.

He doesn't answer, he continues staring at me, leaving on the wall of the corridor like some cripple with that look in his eyes deepening. "You shouldn't be out here. You should rest." He says. I know he's trying to distract me from the shouting and constant yells of 'Ella' or "Priestley" that I keep hearing.

"No," I say. I don't want to stay locked up in a room where my thoughts and guilt eat me from the inside out. "I want to walk." I should not be doing this. It's wrong, but the quicker I get this done and over with, the better it will be for me. "I haven't felt the fresh air on my face without trying to whiff out any danger in so long." I tilt my head to the side, and pout my lips slightly, childishly pleading him to listen. His eye twitches slightly; I don't know if it is disgust or amusement. Then he smiles and nods and I can feel my stomach twisting further inside me.

"Stay here a moment." He says, and then disappears into the room again. I feel so, so terrible. But before I can contemplate on the wrongness of my actions, Sirius returns. He strides forward, and gently intertwines his arm with mine for support. His touch is so refreshing – so warm. The delicacy with which is holds my hand…why am I doing this?

We leave James' house, to an empty street. The lamps are on, and there are stars twinkling in the sky. "Talk to me Sirius." I whisper, hoping that his voice would drown the torturous sound of my conscious.

"What about?"

"Anything. What did I miss?"

He grins at me; the same familiar grin that sends a warm shiver down my back, and makes the hairs on my hand tingle. "Our 7th year at Hogwarts. Lily and James finally started going out. Lupin was with someone for a while. It didn't last. Peter was…well he was just Peter. Oh, and you also missed Lily and James' wedding a few weeks ago."

"Wait, Lily and James got married?" I ask, shocked. I guess I must have missed a lot if Lily agreed to marry James. They are the unlikeliest of couples I've ever come across, but I also realise that I'm happy for them.

"Yeah. James' parents passed away." His voice constricts slightly. "And he didn't want to waste any time. Lily agreed and it was done. It was a small affair."

I turn my head to look at the empty, black street. I missed my best friend's wedding. A tear rolls down my cheek, and I can feel my heart twisting in a strange sort of way that makes my entire body ache.

"What else?" I say.

"Well, after that, we all joined The Order of Phoenix, and James offered his house as headquarters."

"Is that all?"

**Sirius**

"Well, after that, we all joined The Order of Phoenix and James offered his house as headquarters." I say, hoping that this is all that she wants. I have been resolutely avoiding telling her about me and I hope that she doesn't notice.

I look at her face, glowing softly in the pale starry light. "Is that all?" she asks, and my heart starts beating just a little faster. Her voice is so soft in the dark, barely above a whisper.

"Yes," I whisper back. She doesn't say anything just looks down at the pavement. We walk in silence for the next few minutes, with only the tap-taps of our footfalls echoing in the street.

"We should go back." I say at last. I pull her weight on my arm and turn her around. She clutches my arm with her hand, her nails digging in slightly. Pain shots up my arm but I don't say anything. We continue walking in silence but then I stop her, and turn her around so she faces me. "Ella, tell me what happened to you."

She looks surprised at the question, and then shakes her head.

"Tell me" I say still more firmly. Her body trembles and she starts crying. Panicking, I envelope her in my arms, softly running my hand over her head. What did they do to her? What could be so bad that she's scared to even say it?

"Sirius, I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry." She sobs into my shirt.

"It's ok." I whisper back. "I'm sorry that I asked." I say, regretting asking her the question more than anything else.

We go back to James' house in silence. I hold her closer to me as we walk, tighter; hoping that it would comfort her, tell her that she's safe now.

The crowd has calmed down when we return, but they still shoot some suspicious glances at Ella. I hope that she doesn't notice. She doesn't need this.

I can see Violet leaning against the wall in the far end of the living room, looking calculatingly at us. I nod at them, and take Ella to my room. When we get there, I lift her off her feet and gently place her on the bed. When I turn around, Violet is standing at the door, a strange smile dancing on her dewy lips.

"Violet?" I say, aware of Ella's gaze on my back. Violet doesn't say anything. She just strides forward, and before I can even think of what is happening, she puts a strong arm behind my neck and pulls in down in a kiss.


	24. Words I Couldn't Say

AN: Hi, here's the next chapter. I'm sorry it took so long.

If you don't listen to Rascal Flatts, then you should know the title is an allusion to one of their songs. :) Enjoy! :)

**Ella**

I should have known. It has been so long. Of course he moved on. I look at my reflection in the freckled mirror; I don't know if it really is my reflection or the spray of spots that stains the mirror but I seem...different. I can't detect that childish innocence that Sirius had found so endearing before. I don't why I had even thought that there could still be something between us, after all this. I don't see it, but I feel it – the mark seared on my flesh. I can feel its warmth as I move my hand in circles over the area. It's too late, I realise as a single, solitary tear sheds, mourning the loss of the love that I should have recognised long before now. It's too late.

There's a knock on my door. I quickly wipe my tears, and but the traces of my sorrow still remain. In an attempt to hide my misery, I undo my hair and mess it up into numerous inextricable knots so that it looks like I've been sleeping. Then, I move to open the door. It's Sirius.

"Hi, I don't know what to say,"

_Then, perhaps you shouldn't say anything. _I keep the words to myself though. I can't quite bring myself to say them. They seem irrational. I guess no longer hold the right to say them.

"What do you want?" I ask. I didn't mean to sound so brusque but the words come out harsh, brutal with an edge of cruelty.

"I want to talk."

**Sirius **

I knock on her door. I don't what I will say to her. I'm sorry Violet kissed me? I'm sorry that I kissed her back? But don't be deceived, I still love you? I could feel the hopelessness of my visit before she has even opened the door. When she does, I feel even worse. Her hair is a mess like someone had set a mini tornado amuck in there and her eyes are red. She has been crying; it's obvious. She probably messed up her own hair to make it look like she had been asleep. But the dew from the lingering tear in her eyes tell a different tale. Why, why did Violet do that?

"Hi," I start, hoping that other words will follow, "I don't know what to say," I see her lip twitch. It's not the first time I'm speechless in front of her.

"What do you want?" I flinch at the coldness of her words. I don't know if I should be happy or sad. It means that she really did like me –if not now then at some point; and she liked me enough to get so heartbroken over one kiss. But it also means that I've now managed to crush her heart into tiny particles of dust.

"I want to talk." I say.

She opens the door further to let me inside, and I slide inside her room. She still has her hand firmly attached to the door though. I move to close it shut, wondering what it is that I want to say to her. She doesn't protest, as I remove her hand from the door and push it shut.

"Violet and I," I begin, wondering how to explain it to her. "we're nothing."

"That kiss was nothing?" she asks, her voice sounds strained, as if she is keeping something in – anger or more tears?

"We had something in the past, Violet and I, but now –" I can see defeat and resignation growing in her eyes. She doesn't want to hear this. She doesn't need my explanations. So, I stop. So, I do the only other thing that I know of. I take a step closer and cup her face in her hands. Shocked, her eyes grow as I lean forwards to close the gap between us. It's a slow and gentle kiss, conveying all the emotions and feelings that my words will never be able to say.


	25. A Moment Like This

A/N: I don't know what's with me and choosing songs as my chapter titles? ANyway, you know the drill - read and review. :) Enjoy!

**A Moment Like This **

**Ella**

"We had something in the past, Violet and I," I feel a strange ambivalence stirring inside me. I want to push him away, but at the same time, I want to pull him closer as well, "But now-" His voice fades slightly as he leans closer and before I can do anything I feel his lips on mine. Then, his arm snakes around my back, drawing me closer. There's a part of me that wants to push him away. How can he kiss me when he's talking about Violet? When he's just kissed Violet? There's something repugnant about what's happening but I don't resist. There seems to be another part – the dominant one - that pulls him closer, deeper into the kiss. He brings me closer still until there's not even a breath of a gap between us. His hands caress my back while his mouth melts on mine. I haven't felt like this in such a long time; it's been a long time since someone kissed me with such passion. I wrap my arms around his neck; allowing my fingers to play with the long tufts of his black hair. I forget everything. There's nothing else – nobody else – but me and him.

Then, he stops. I don't want him to. I push my mouth closer to his, asking him to continue. I look into his eyes; his usually warm dark, almost black eyes are clouded with distress.

"Ella, you're weak. You need rest. You need to sleep."

**Sirius**

I didn't expect her to kiss me back. The Ella I used to know wouldn't have been so forthcoming, but I don't complain. I welcome her as she burrows into me, deepening the kiss, and teasing my hair. It makes me forget – for a moment – everything. I want to continue, but I force myself to stop. The image of her weak, frail body flashes through my mind and I gentle push her away. I can't do this to do her, not now. She's weak. It would be like taking advantage of her. It was wrong to even kiss her in the first place. After all the terrible, awful things that she must have been through, she doesn't need this.

"Ella, you're weak. You need rest. You need to sleep." I tell her, my voice full of concern. Even now, as she stands, encaged in my arms, I can feel how weak she is. If it weren't for my arms, I doubt that she will even be able to stand straight. She looks into my eyes, and a frisson travels down my back; I can't see it but I can almost imagine a strange link forming between us. I want to hold her close, and wrap my arms around her as a shield. I want to hide her from the world and protect her. Anything. I would give anything for her.

Her face twitches slightly. She probably still hurts. She shouldn't have gone for the walk. It was far too risky.

I lift her in my arms and carry her to the bed. Then, as gently as I could, I put her down on the bed. I'm about leave but the soft pressure of her fingers as they cling to my hand stops me.

"Stay," she says.

**Ella**

I never would have imagined this. Two seconds ago, I was so consumed by passion that I didn't realise just how weak I really was. Still, I want him to continue. I guess, once you stray from the path, you always get tempted for the wrong things.

He looks at me, with kindness and a strange sort of a pain shining in his eyes. I don't know exactly why he stopped, but I don't doubt him. In that moment, as our eyes locked and I looked deep into the heart of his soul, something happened. I would have told him the truth there and then if it wasn't the sudden, acute pain in my arm, reminding me of what I was.

He frowns, and then before I know what he's doing, I find myself in his arms, my left arm around his shoulders. He carries me to the bed and gently puts me down. His hand lingers on my waist. I want his hand to remain there, around me. The pain in my arm grows slightly but I ignore it. I hold his hand, and one word escapes my lips, "stay"

**Sirius**

Soft, translucent rays of golden light stream in through the windows. They set the whole room alight in a blaze of golden hues. The room looks different. It used to be mine when I was a kid but everything seems strange slightly, tinged with the deep, intensity of happiness. I look at the person cuddled next to me. She's still sleeping. I don't move, slowly resting my head back on the pillow. She looks so peaceful, at rest. There's nothing like deep slumber to calm your heart's worries. I can't help it; my hand moves of its own accord, my fingers slowly caressing her face, re-familiarising themselves with the softness of her skin. She eyes flutter slight. I stop, but I don't move my hand. She doesn't wake up but behind her lids, her eyes move frantically; a frown engraves itself on her forehead. Her lips purse as if in deep concentration, but something tells me that the look she has on now is not one of concentration, but of agony.

"I do, I do, I do" she whispers in her sleep, the words issuing from her mouth with an aggressive vehemence. It makes me shudder, and though she's still asleep, I put my arm around and pull her closer.

**Ella**

_I'm back there, at the altar. My faceless groom stands next to me. The Death Eaters stand to the left and Sirius, Lily, James and the others on the right. I know what is about to happen; I know about the groom but I want to move away, I want to run. My red dress is stained with red – blood? Whose, I wonder. I try to move. I call out to Sirius but he simply smiles at me, an empty cold smile and his eyes equally, if not more, cold and detached. He hates me. "Sirius, help me! This is not me." I yell but the words have no effect; it's like he can't even hear me. Something, some force turns me on my feet and instead of words of help, two words escape my mouth, repeatedly. "I do" I try to stop myself, I try to keep my lips firmly closed but the words escape nevertheless, "I do. I do."_

I wake up. I feel someone's arms around me, holding me. It takes me a moment to realise that it's Sirius. He doesn't move away. He continues holding me, whispering soft, comforting words in my ear. His hand strokes my back as he tries to sooth me. I can feel my heartbeat reverberating off his chest, fast and ceaseless, fear punctuating each _lub dub_ sound. I wonder if I screamed in my sleep. What did he hear? It wouldn't be the first time but it unsettles me. What if he heard something that he wasn't supposed to?

Slowly as my heart beat calms down, he moves slightly away, a firm hand resting on my sides. "Are you ok?" he asks. I nod. He kisses the top of my forehead. I thought that he was going to ask me more but he doesn't. He caresses my face with his hands. No more questions asked.

I love him, I realise. And also with a pang of regret, bitterness and anger, I can't be with him. He won't like what I've become. I remember the dream. I remember how he'd continued to stare at me with those blank, impassive eyes. He didn't care about me in the dream. He will cease to care about me if I tell him.

"Ahem, ahem." Someone coughs at the door. It's Madame Pomfrey. Sirius blushes, and I think I am too. She doesn't day anything.

"I'll see you later," he mutters in my ears as he slips off the bed and leaves.

Madame Pomfrey approaches with a tray of medicine that I must take. "So how are you feeling today?" she asks. Is there a sly hint towards Sirius in the question?

"Good," I respond; the monosyllabic word is the safest answer. She 'mmm's, giving me the two tablets and a small cup of a green potion. I take it, swallowing the bitter pills and even bitterer liquid.

"You should get dressed and come down to breakfast now." I nod, but as she leaves I lay back on the pillow. It takes me another few minutes to dredge up the energy to shower and get dressed.

When I go downstairs, the sight that meets me makes me wish that I hadn't woken up at all. I want to return to that moment when I had Sirius' arms wrapped around me. Everyone is gathered in the main hall, assembled in a circular formation around the centre. In the centre stands the statue; frozen, asleep, the white scar of his face shines coldly back at me.


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